New autistic hire about to make company look really fucking virtuous, says boss
The head of a really very ethical and moral company has claimed that their new autistic employee is about to do wonders for their reputation, according to sources. Karen Hoyland, 49, says she is a vocal advocate for diverse hiring practices in the name of...
Urgh! Magic the only way autistic woman will acknowledge her own goddamn feelings
This article is an It’s a Superpower?? special, set in the world of our audio sitcom! To find out more, see the bottom of the piece. An autistic woman is reportedly so in denial about having basic human emotions that the only way she will...
Autistic man furious at own lack of immediate perfection
An autistic man who attempted to try something new has become instantly furious at his apparent lack of professional-level skills in the new activity, it has been reported. Lloyd Didcot, 36, decided on a whim to learn coin magic from a book, using the justification...
AuDHD person finally saves enough Instagram Reels to fix every problem they’ve ever had
An AuDHD person has finally built up a bank of Instagram Reels designed to address every issue they have had, currently have, and will ever have, it has been reported. Des Ackerman, 31, scrolls their feed looking for videos made by the kind of self-actualised...
“Sorry, he’s a bit full on” says neurotypical about person she keeps inviting to things
A neurotypical woman has resolved to keep apologising for the presence of someone who consistently exhausts them instead of just not inviting them to things, eyewitnesses have claimed. Miya Wilkes, 33, cannot stop inviting 35-year-old Graeme Hart to every single social event she hosts, despite...
Friend sadly too neurotypical to understand any of your references
Your one and only friend who you didn’t meet on a Stargate SG-1 messaging board in the early 2000s is reportedly “too neurotypical” to understand any of your references to either popular or unpopular culture. Kelsey Dacey, 37, is apparently what’s known as a “regular...
Not Robbie! Neurotypicals shocked by autism diagnosis of celebrity who did entire documentary from bed
Allistic society is reportedly surprised by the autism diagnosis of a man who conducted an entire four-hour docuseries from his under his duvet because “I’m a hermit. If I’m not on stage, I’m in bed”. Robbie Williams, 52, who already has a public ADHD diagnosis...
Autistic Benjamin Button excited to see what comorbidity he’ll lose next
An autistic man who ages in reverse says he cannot wait to see what health issue he’ll get to cast off next. Benjamin Button, who was born at 100 and is currently on his way back to a sprightly 45, looks forward to every passing...
World-famous magicians kindly agreed to meet “biggest autistic fan” before they realised it was a 39-year-old man
This article is an It’s a Superpower?? special, set in the world of our audio sitcom! To find out more, see the bottom of the piece. A pair of world-famous magicians who charitably agreed to meet their “biggest autistic fan” immediately regretted their generosity after...
Autistic woman’s complex internal monologue vocalised as “It’s all just so HARD, you know?”
An autistic woman’s complicated and nuanced internal monologue listing the litany of challenges and obstacles that beleaguer her on a daily basis is only ever shared with the world as a vague variant of “Oh it’s just so HARD”, sources have reported. Audio engineer Emma...