Autistic woman’s PMDD making some good points, actually
An autistic woman’s PMDD-fuelled inner monologue is actually making some really salient points this month, according to sources. Chi-Young Lee, 26, usually knows to tune out the raging, emotionally volatile voice in her head that surfaces during her luteal phase, but this time around she...
Billionaire’s autism not the reason he’s a piece of shit
An autistic billionaire’s neurotype is not the reason he’s an absolute piece of shit, it has been revealed. Robert Noot, 54, frequently uses his autism as a get-out-of-jail-free card to excuse all of the terrible things he says and does, in spite of the actual...
Autistic woman threatened with “the help she needs”
A newly diagnosed autistic woman has been subjected to vile threats of “help” and “support” from other people, according to sources. Miya Wilkes, 23, has reportedly been met with intimidating warnings like “You’ll finally get the help you need!” after telling others about her recent...
Doctor immobile for ten days, unable to choose between fatphobia and ableism
A doctor has been unable to move for ten days straight after encountering a patient who is both fat and autistic. Dr. Lloyd Didcot, 57, was about to tell Ben Espenson, 32, that the only treatment for his ear infection would be for him to...
Other shoe taking suspiciously long time to drop
An autistic woman reportedly really enjoying life at the moment is nonetheless growing increasingly suspicious that nothing glaringly bad has happened in a while. Liz McHodge, 68, says she “cannot complain” about the current state of her life, but having nothing to complain about is...
Autistic woman plans, fatigue laughs
An autistic woman with a busy week ahead of her has forgotten that her fatigue will always win in the end, sources have said. Megan Aldrich, 37, is “absolutely certain” she isn’t asking too much of herself this week – the thought of bouncing between...
Report! Life admin more time-consuming than living actual life
An autistic woman’s life admin is basically just her whole life now, a report has revealed. The conclusions of the study into the relentless drudgery of 42-year-old Emma Bernard’s life were announced yesterday – and painted a depressing but immaculately organised picture. Researcher Dr. Graeme...
Hot desking really fucking up autistic woman’s ability to memorise her colleagues
An autistic woman who only has the scantest idea of what anyone looks like has been totally screwed over by her workplace’s introduction of hot desking, reports have indicated. Pippa Durham, 30, whose object permanence is so bad she once lost a game of peek-a-boo...
“It’s an accessibility tool” insists autistic man who spends life fixing errors caused by ChatGPT
An autistic man has stated that generative AI is a valuable and worthwhile tool which actually helps accessibility, despite it actually being the bane of his fucking life, reports have confirmed. Paul Shinter, 46, who has incorporated AI into every aspect of his life, from...
Autistic woman’s cute little handbag actually weird little lunchbox
An autistic woman who arrived at a work away day with a “quirky but fashionable handbag” actually attended with a deeply embarrassing lunchbox, according to witnesses. Ellie Mulligan, 34, was assumed by work colleagues to have taken advantage of the relaxed dress code afforded by...
