Urgh! Magic the only way autistic woman will acknowledge her own goddamn feelings
This article is an It’s a Superpower?? special, set in the world of our audio sitcom! To find out more, see the bottom of the piece. An autistic woman is reportedly so in denial about having basic human emotions that the only way she will...
Not Robbie! Neurotypicals shocked by autism diagnosis of celebrity who did entire documentary from bed
Allistic society is reportedly surprised by the autism diagnosis of a man who conducted an entire four-hour docuseries from his under his duvet because “I’m a hermit. If I’m not on stage, I’m in bed”. Robbie Williams, 52, who already has a public ADHD diagnosis...
Relaxing? Autistic person’s fantasy world scuppered by obsession with fantasy fairness
An autistic person’s carefully constructed imaginary escape from reality has been ruined by their carefully constructed imaginary set of rules, it has been rumoured. Luca Mignon, 35, who has reportedly spent years lovingly building what’s known as a paracosm, an elaborate inner world where everything...
“Easily manipulated” autistic man warns everyone he’s easily manipulated so they know not to manipulate him
This article is an It’s a Superpower?? special, set in the world of our audio sitcom! To find out more, see the bottom of the piece. An autistic man prone to trusting the wrong people has ensured that everyone is aware of his naïveté so...
“It’s reverse ableism” insists reverse not a bellend
Your reasonable-adjustment request is “reverse ableism”, according to a reverse not a cunt. Colleague Graeme Hart, 46, who has reverse excellent opinions about everything from politics to which number the office thermostat should be set to, somehow believes he is a victim of reverse discrimination,...
Crime! Autism Aunt unsure which emergency service to call after autistics make their own sitcom
This article is an It’s a Superpower?? special, set in the world of our upcoming audio sitcom! To find out more, see the bottom of the piece. An allistic woman with a tragically autistic nephew has reportedly been left “angry, scared and without assistance from...
“Confusing” sitcom premiere dress code sees autistic audience wearing literal red carpets
An audience comprised predominantly of autistic people have been left “unsure of what the fuck to wear” to the virtual world premiere of a new audio sitcom, it has been announced. The invitation to the live launch of The Daily Tism’s new show by and...
FFS! Unmasking autistic person discovers they were cool all along
An autistic person who spent the last three decades masking in order to appear cool has reportedly unmasked only to discover that their coolest form was the very thing they were masking in the first place. Luca Mignon, 33, who has spent their entire life...
Eeeeeeew! Unexpected house guest finds out how autistic man really lives
A guest who decided to “just drop by” unannounced has reportedly discovered that an autistic man lives in a house made of garbage inside a larger house made of house. Dexter Livingstone, 29, who was expecting an Amazon parcel, made the error of opening his...
“No worries if FUCK YOU!” Autistic woman either fawning or hangry with no middle ground
An autistic woman is either the most unnecessarily polite person you’ve ever met in your entire life or murderously hangry with no in between, sources have revealed. Marketing executive Lottie Fitzgerald, 25, who should have had a snack an hour ago but didn’t want to...