Autistic woman receives Mother’s Day cards from everyone she has ever dated
An autistic woman has received an influx of Mother’s Day cards from every ex who treated her like a surrogate mother, according to sources. Siobhan Moorton, 36, has never had a child of her own – yet has helped to raise numerous adult children who...
Autistic woman worried her mugs have realised she has a favourite
An autistic woman is facing an ethical dilemma over her preference for drinking out of one particular mug, it has been revealed. Lottie Fitzgerald, 35, from Southsea, has developed a strong attachment to a blue studio pottery mug she was given last Christmas. She reports...
Huh? Autistic woman wondering how she became centre of friend group drama
An autistic woman minding her own business has somehow become the scapegoat for friend-group beef that has absolutely nothing to do with her, it has been rumoured. Third-year Law student, Ellie Mulligan, 22, was reportedly “just trying to have a nice, chill time” when she...
AuDHD woman who forgot to text you back a decade ago wondering if it’s too late
An AuDHD woman who forgot to reply to your message ten years ago has spent the subsequent decade deliberating over how to re-instigate contact, sources have claimed. Freya Emerson, 35, reportedly failed to respond to your casual request for a coffee as she didn’t know...
Autistic woman in need of therapy as long as she continues having parents
An autistic woman is expected to need therapy for as long as she continues having parents, it has been reported. Ellie Mulligan, 29, has been going to therapy ever since she learned that other people don’t feel terrible all the time. Although she has made...
“I’d be up for that” says autistic person who will absolutely cancel
An autistic person has cheerfully responded to plans in a WhatsApp group chat knowing full well they intend to back out later, according to reports. Jay Chester, 28, from Ellesmere Port, reportedly sent non-committal messages to the group such as “that sounds great” and “oh,...
Autistic woman’s cat begs her to expand social circle
An autistic woman’s cat has reportedly begged her to expand her social circle after becoming concerned at her lack of human friends. Fudge Cake, seven, from Canvey Island, became worried about his owner, Emma Bernard, 29, after she told him he was “the only friend...
Heroes! Parents who love autistic child eagerly await medal
Self-described “autism parents” who “love their child with autism” have reportedly been left disappointed after discovering there’s no medal for loving your own offspring. Graeme and Karen Hoyland, both 38, have insisted that they wouldn’t change seven-year-old Finley Rice for the world – “even though...
Autistic woman accused of bullying just trying to flirt
An autistic woman accused of picking on her crush was actually attempting to seduce him with witty banter, it has been rumoured. Niamh Callaghan, 26, has defended her behaviour towards Ben Espenson, 28, on the grounds that she was “doing a bit”. Callaghan explained: “All...
Autistic woman agonising over croissant pun or painfully sincere Valentine’s card
An autistic woman is reportedly debating between a seriously unfunny joke or an earnestly heartfelt Valentine’s Day card, it has been rumoured. Beth Hapworth, 32, from Elton, has spent three hours and 42 minutes despairing in the stationery aisle of her local Tesco Express, due...
