Autistic wedding vows shortened to brisk nod
An autistic couple who can’t bear the physical agony of expressing genuine emotions in front of others have mutually agreed to shorten their wedding vows to a brief nod. Ellie Mulligan, 30, and Jay Chester, 35, are planning to marry later this year in a...
Autistic woman somehow flunks getting her nails done
An autistic woman has managed to screw up sitting still while someone else does her nails, eyewitnesses have claimed. Simran Khalsa, 32, decided she was worth more than the DIY hack-job she does on her nails and booked into a nail salon for a manicure....
I thought I was neurotypical. It turns out I just really like shopping at Uniqlo.
Allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Sarah, and this whole time I thought I was neurotypical, it turns out I just really like that nice linen-blend neutral shit they do at Uniqlo. Every time I used to walk through the doors of the...
Autistic woman’s cute little handbag actually weird little lunchbox
An autistic woman who arrived at a work away day with a “quirky but fashionable handbag” actually attended with a deeply embarrassing lunchbox, according to witnesses. Ellie Mulligan, 34, was assumed by work colleagues to have taken advantage of the relaxed dress code afforded by...
Glammed-up autistic woman to revert to usual scruffiness any minute now
An autistic woman who dressed up for a glamorous work event is ready to revert to her usual unkempt appearance any minute now, it has been revealed. PR manager Chi-Young Lee, 34, has had her hair and makeup done professionally to attend an industry awards...
Baggy clothes next best thing to nudity, say autistics
Some autistic people have succeeded in wearing clothes without having clothes anywhere near them, sources have confirmed. The revolutionary new style reportedly allows autistic people to feel as free as they day they were born, without immediately losing their actual freedom on a public indecency...
AuDHDer in denial not giving up on piano this time
An AuDHD man is definitely not going to give up on the piano, no matter what everything else about his life and prior experiences may suggest, optimistic sources have reported. Mac Wheatley, 47, has committed to becoming a virtuoso on the instrument, the playing of...
Steal her look! Autistic woman throws makeup in general direction of face and prays
An autistic woman’s makeup routine is held together solely by concealer and prayers, according to rumours. Freya Emerson, 25, was reportedly never taught how to do her makeup, nor can she seem to retain anything useful from makeup tutorials other than “start by looking like...
AuDHD movie buff has sorta kinda half watched all the classics
An AuDHD film fanatic has “basically got the gist” of most of the films they’ve listed on their Letterboxd account, sources have claimed. Des Ackerman, 45, who considers cinema a special interest, can reportedly sort-of kind-of talk knowledgeably about the difference between Criterion and Masters...
Autistic relationship ends in heartbreak over incompatible Star Trek opinions
An autistic couple have mutually ended their relationship over differing Star Trek opinions, sources have reported. Jay Chester, 35, and Ryan Wilkins, 27, were initially delighted to discover that they both loved the long running sci-fi franchise, with both partners being unable to believe their...
