Most coddled opinion columnist in world concerned neurodivergent teens having it too easy
An opinion columnist, heiress and occasional lifestyle podcaster born into a life so luxurious, idle and easy mode that she may as well live in a castle made of cushions and truffles, has expressed dismay at the idea some AuDHD children she will never meet...
Autistic woman who narrowly evaded cult only realises after seeing them on news
An autistic woman narrowly avoided being initiated into a weird-ass cult, but only realised that was what had been happening 12 years later after seeing them on the actual news, it has been reported. Paige Thomas, 33, first met the incredibly welcoming group, who all...
Cheers! Autistic person in pub still waiting for the fun to kick in
An autistic person resentfully nursing a £5 diet coke in a noisy sticky hellhole is reportedly wondering when the “fun” part of being in a pub is due to start. According to sources, Luca Mignon, 19, couldn’t wait to make their first trip to The...
Autistic woman who tells everyone about kink too ashamed to admit she likes fireworks
An autistic woman who tells everyone who’ll listen about her kink is also too embarrassed to disclose, even to herself, that she secretly very much enjoys fireworks, sources have revealed. Beth Hapworth, 44, reportedly the single most sexually confident woman anyone has ever met, describes...
Witch in found footage horror film just autistic woman trying to show you her craft projects
A so-called “witch” thought to be stalking the protagonists of a found-footage horror film is just an autistic woman who wants to show someone her découpage, it has been rumoured. The Blair Witch, 35, has reportedly been making more of an effort to decompress after...
Autistic woman would be on-trend if this were Salem and also 1665
An autistic woman is reportedly very fashionable, at least she would be if this were witch-trial-era Massachusetts, according to sources. Pippa Durham, 39, feels most at home in a long skirt and smart blouse with a big collar, which she thought was a nice moody...
Autistic woman taking up running struggling with the bit where she has to run
An autistic woman trying running for the first time is reportedly stuck on the bit between leaving the house and returning home. Talia Cohen, 40, decided to try to start running because she was too broke for a gym membership, and also because she had...
Autistic millennial can recite every ’90s TV advert but has no idea what their nephew’s name is
An autistic person who once recorded a three-hour VHS tape of television adverts has realised those adverts are taking up valuable brain space which might be put to better use, like memorising the names of their immediate family, sources have claimed. Jay Chester, 38, expressed...
What autistic woman needs is signature look, she thinks
An autistic woman who has known true hardship also thinks that her lack of a signature style might be contributing to her problems, reports have claimed. Sabheen Bhatt, 44, has recently hit a problem-solving event horizon where the only ways to optimise her life any...
Confirmed! Floor better than bed
In the world of “places it is good to lie down”, Floor is indeed better than Bed, new research has confirmed. Dr Mary Walker, 45, Clinical Trial Lead at The Institute for Floor Time Studies, broke the news at a press conference this morning, speaking...