Glammed-up autistic woman to revert to usual scruffiness any minute now
An autistic woman who dressed up for a glamorous work event is ready to revert to her usual unkempt appearance any minute now, it has been revealed. PR manager Chi-Young Lee, 34, has had her hair and makeup done professionally to attend an industry awards...
Baggy clothes next best thing to nudity, say autistics
Some autistic people have succeeded in wearing clothes without having clothes anywhere near them, sources have confirmed. The revolutionary new style reportedly allows autistic people to feel as free as they day they were born, without immediately losing their actual freedom on a public indecency...
AuDHDer in denial not giving up on piano this time
An AuDHD man is definitely not going to give up on the piano, no matter what everything else about his life and prior experiences may suggest, optimistic sources have reported. Mac Wheatley, 47, has committed to becoming a virtuoso on the instrument, the playing of...
Steal her look! Autistic woman throws makeup in general direction of face and prays
An autistic woman’s makeup routine is held together solely by concealer and prayers, according to rumours. Freya Emerson, 25, was reportedly never taught how to do her makeup, nor can she seem to retain anything useful from makeup tutorials other than “start by looking like...
AuDHD movie buff has sorta kinda half watched all the classics
An AuDHD film fanatic has “basically got the gist” of most of the films they’ve listed on their Letterboxd account, sources have claimed. Des Ackerman, 45, who considers cinema a special interest, can reportedly sort-of kind-of talk knowledgeably about the difference between Criterion and Masters...
Autistic relationship ends in heartbreak over incompatible Star Trek opinions
An autistic couple have mutually ended their relationship over differing Star Trek opinions, sources have reported. Jay Chester, 35, and Ryan Wilkins, 27, were initially delighted to discover that they both loved the long running sci-fi franchise, with both partners being unable to believe their...
AuDHD woman at gig who can’t remember lyrics really is artist’s biggest fan
An AuDHD woman at a gig reportedly singing along to about a third of the songs, if she’s lucky, genuinely does listen to the artist’s music all the time, it has been insisted. Emma Bernard, 24, who can reportedly “sort of dip in and out...
Convenient! Air fryer allows autistic man myriad new ways to forget to eat
A brand new air fryer, with options to bake, defrost, dehydrate, and more, has allowed an autistic man unparalleled new ways to forget to prepare and eat food, according to sources. Onye Egbuchunam, 43, recently bought the 6-in-1 double-chambered air fryer as a convenient way...
Dark cosy nook delighted to see you again
The dark corner of your flat where you curl up and hide in the evening is once again looking forward to sheltering you from the bright and terrible complexities of the world, it has been reported. The Dark Cosy Nook, two, which started its life...
Chic! Autistic woman’s autumn/winter runny nose seamlessly replaced by spring/summer runny nose
An autistic woman has been labelled a “trendsetter” after demonstrating how to seamlessly switch from a cold-weather runny nose to a hot-weather runny nose, it has been reported. Mary Walker, 43, believes that perpetually-drippy noses are a timeless classic, best paired with a nasty crumpled-up...
