Researchers find autism somehow doubles when on holiday
Autism “doubles” when on holiday, a landmark new study by The Institute for Why Are We Like This has revealed. Dr. Graeme Hart announced the breakthrough, confirmed in a press conference, that conclusive proof has been discovered not just of autism symptoms doubling, but of...
Unprecedented! AuDHD man finds all his games and DVDs in their correct cases
In what officials are describing as a million-to-one event, an AuDHD man has opened a videogame case and found the game he was actually looking for, instead of that heralding the beginning of an hour-long side quest. Mac Wheatley, 31, has become accustomed to none...
AuDHD woman tearfully leads unsavoury special interest out behind barn with shotgun
An AuDHD woman has realised that she has enjoyed her latest horrible special interest for as long as polite company can really tolerate, and has been spotted tearfully leading it behind a barn while armed with a shotgun. Ffiona Maw, 28, who over the past...
Autistic man furious at own lack of immediate perfection
An autistic man who attempted to try something new has become instantly furious at his apparent lack of professional-level skills in the new activity, it has been reported. Lloyd Didcot, 36, decided on a whim to learn coin magic from a book, using the justification...
Autistic woman’s complex internal monologue vocalised as “It’s all just so HARD, you know?”
An autistic woman’s complicated and nuanced internal monologue listing the litany of challenges and obstacles that beleaguer her on a daily basis is only ever shared with the world as a vague variant of “Oh it’s just so HARD”, sources have reported. Audio engineer Emma...
Autistic man on rollercoaster desperately working out right time to scream
An autistic man on a day out at a theme park spent the entire time working out how and when to scream while on a rollercoaster, sources have revealed. Graeme Hart, 38, came to the realisation that something was amiss while on the ride Swarm...
Autistic man ironically ill-equipped for changes to his train journey
An autistic man’s train journey has unexpectedly changed, leading to the sort of ironic suffering normally reserved for an episode of The Twilight Zone, sources have revealed. Lucas Fletcher, 40, was supposed to be travelling from Milford Haven to London Paddington, and was anticipating no more...
AuDHD project manager excels at work, fails disastrously at life
A professional project manager who effortlessly juggles multiple conflicting deadlines, deliverables and dependencies in her day-to-day work has a private life so shambolic it is functionally indistinguishable from that of a labrador turned into a human woman by a witch, sources have revealed. Sarah Harrow,...
Autistic man with special interest in Harry Potter gets over it, leaving you with no excuse
An autistic man with a special interest in the Harry Potter series has made the decision to value the lives and dignity of his trans friends more than a book about a wizard who grows up to be a cop, leaving you with no excuse...
AuDHD woman obsessively buying wool only vaguely acquainted with knitting
An AuDHD woman with an increasingly large collection of yarn, needles, and stitch markers is only vaguely aware of the concept of “knitting”, it has been reported. Pippa Durham, 33, has been gathering a variety of expensive and rare wools and other knitting-related paraphernalia for...