Editors starting to notice the Star Trek references in every single piece submitted by autistic writer
The editors of the successful satirical website The Daily Tism have started to catch on to the Star Trek references scattered like crew members in a transporter throughout one of their writer’s submissions. Sara Gibbs, 38, and Sarah Amero, 28, are reportedly “not that into...
Autistic person’s PhD topic so niche explaining what it is uses up entire thesis word count
An autistic PhD student has come up with a research topic so obscure and complex that it may have transcended human language, sources have claimed. Kit McGodden, 25, wrote an 80,000 word introduction, at which point they realised that they had accidentally written a...
Autistic woman asked to “jump on a quick call” suggests you jump off a quick cliff
An autistic woman’s day working from home was reportedly ruined by your request that she join a video call at short notice, you absolute psychopath. Talia Cohen, 40, was in full goblin mode when you interrupted her mid-task to demand that she run through her...
Mortified autistic award winner spends entire speech apologising to her competitors
A skilled writer who accepted a prestigious award last night spent the duration of her acceptance speech alternately saying sorry to the rest of the nominees and outright berating herself, sources report. Paige Thomas, 28, took to the stage to accept her award for Best...
Autistic woman interprets two words eight thousand ways
An autistic woman has undertaken a personal five-day odyssey after being presented with two clear and direct words, sources have revealed. Simran Khalsa, 26, who takes things very literally but has learned the hard way that neurotypicals speak in tricksy riddles, has trained herself to...
Workplace autism awareness day triggers workplace autism self-awareness day
A well-meaning corporate autism awareness day has had the unintended effect of triggering an extended bout of self-awareness in an autistic staff member, according to sources. Graeme Hart, 36, thought he was turning up for a normal workday, only to be bundled into a meeting...
Autistic woman fails to nail mind-reading portion of job interview
An autistic woman at a job interview has failed to guess what her prospective employers are secretly looking for, according to the panel. Krista Shure, 27, says she thoroughly researched the paper company she was interviewing for, and took pains to practice answering questions without...
Autistic horse racing commentator fired for infodumping about horses
An autistic man with a special interest in horses has been fired from his dream job as a horse racing commentator due to not being able to shut up about horses, sources have claimed. Jack Harrington, 29, has reportedly been obsessed with horses for his...
Autistic woman’s cute little handbag actually weird little lunchbox
An autistic woman who arrived at a work away day with a “quirky but fashionable handbag” actually attended with a deeply embarrassing lunchbox, according to witnesses. Ellie Mulligan, 34, was assumed by work colleagues to have taken advantage of the relaxed dress code afforded by...
You’re welcome! “Bossy” autistic woman has planned your whole life for you
An autistic woman has taken the liberty of sketching out your next few decades, since you were not forthcoming in a recent conversation about future plans, it has been revealed. You may not have noticed that Ellie Mulligan, 35, was being sarcastic when she ended...
