The editors of the successful satirical website The Daily Tism have started to catch on to the Star Trek references scattered like crew members in a transporter throughout one of their writer’s submissions. 

Sara Gibbs, 38, and Sarah Amero, 28, are reportedly “not that into Star Trek“ themselves, with one asking if it was “that film with the grammatical green dude and the whiny kid running about in his pyjamas?” However, even they will eventually notice if there’s Klingon phrases peppered through the piece like bio-neural gel packs through the starship Voyager. 

Writer and colossal nerd Hare Lockwood, 39, has been pitching pieces for the autistic website about everything from mirrors to travel shows, but keeps returning to the most neuroatypical thing she can think of: a multigenerational sci-fi show with doors that go “pfffvt” and “hwwwrrrrr-chuh”. 

“Every week I try to resist, like Dr. Crusher trying not to bang a ghost,” Lockwood explained. “But I’ve just been sneaking them in, like Sisko and Jadzia snuck into the old USS Enterprise. And then throwing in the references, like they were throwing tribbles into the corridor. And trying to look inconspicuous, like-! Oh man, I have to rewatch that episode it’s SO FUCKING GOOD.” 

Gibbs reassured us, “We’ve spoken to Hare, and I think this is the end of it. This next piece is about an autistic guy called Broccoli who deals with his social anxiousness by escaping into imaginary worlds using a holodeck- HEY.”

Lockwood could not be reached for further comment as she was curled up with a 24 hour loop of NCC-1701-D warp core noises.

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