Organised scavenger hunt fails to account for autistic competence
This article is an It’s a Superpower?? special, set in the world of our audio sitcom! To find out more, see the bottom of the piece. What promised to be the world’s most complex scavenger hunt has failed to take into account autistic people’s propensity to actually...
Grinning autistic woman repeats pun in case you didn’t hear it the first three times
An autistic woman currently wearing a shit-eating grin like the Cheshire Cat who got the cream will repeat her latest pun as many times as necessary until she gets the response she’s hoping for, sources have reported. Olivia Buckingham, 34, and wife Navya Randhawa, 31,...
Friend sadly too neurotypical to understand any of your references
Your one and only friend who you didn’t meet on a Stargate SG-1 messaging board in the early 2000s is reportedly “too neurotypical” to understand any of your references to either popular or unpopular culture. Kelsey Dacey, 37, is apparently what’s known as a “regular...
World-famous magicians kindly agreed to meet “biggest autistic fan” before they realised it was a 39-year-old man
This article is an It’s a Superpower?? special, set in the world of our audio sitcom! To find out more, see the bottom of the piece. A pair of world-famous magicians who charitably agreed to meet their “biggest autistic fan” immediately regretted their generosity after...
The Great Sun Myth: new documentary seeks to answer question – where does it go when it’s dark?
A groundbreaking new documentary reportedly seeks to question the conventional narrative around the mysterious and unknowable orb at the centre of our galaxy. The Great Sun Myth, from the producers of Not Quite Walls, Not Quite Gaps: What are Doors? and Trees: What’s Their Game?,...
Preventative! Autistic woman bakes for entire population, just in case someone out there is mad at her
This article is an It’s a Superpower?? special, set in the world of our audio sitcom! To find out more, see the bottom of the piece. An autistic woman whose greatest fear is someone being cross with her has reportedly baked enough cakes, pastries and...
Autistic woman’s moral compass suspiciously absent during video game
An autistic woman who habitually apologises to furniture when she accidentally bumps into it becomes a sadistic bloodthirsty monster when unleashed onto video games, sources report. Emma Bernard, 25, who still baulks at selecting the mean dialogue options during in-game conversations, absolutely fucking loves slaughtering...
Autistic person caught searching “how to talk to manual labourers” while a man services boiler
An autistic man attempting to make small talk with a man servicing his boiler has finally resorted to straight-up Ask Jeeves-ing it, sources have reported. Aidan Michaels, 29, began to realise he was in trouble conversationally after a brief foray into the topic of the...
Editors starting to notice the Star Trek references in every single piece submitted by autistic writer
The editors of the successful satirical website The Daily Tism have started to catch on to the Star Trek references scattered like crew members in a transporter throughout one of their writer’s submissions. Sara Gibbs, 38, and Sarah Amero, 28, are reportedly “not that into...
Autistic couple trade off on mutual inability to do household tasks
The world’s only autistic couple with a semi-functional household and a relatively clean set of surfaces have attributed their success to a perfectly interlocking spiky skill set, sources have reported. Lucas Fletcher and Ben Espenson, both 30, had their meet-cute in the cleaning supplies aisle...