Autistic woman planning extravagant Halloween outfit for an evening alone
An autistic woman who spent October 31st hand sewing the finishing touches to her elaborate costume is reportedly ready for a glorious evening of eating snacks alone in the dark. Lottie Fitzgerald, 32, says that she has always been keen on costumes and dressing up,...
Autistic woman watching Midsommar keeps laughing in the wrong places
An autistic woman watching the acclaimed folk-horror film Midsommar, a dark exploration of grief which contains gruesome deaths, gore and animal sacrifice, has belatedly realised she probably shouldn’t have been giggling all the way through it, sources have reported. Freya Emerson, 28, says that she doesn’t...
Autistic caretaker having a lovely time at a snowed-in hotel
An autistic man has been enjoying a relaxing five months of peace at a snowed-in hotel over winter with absolutely no urge to murder anyone, sources have reported. Jack Torrance, 43, has reportedly been having a great time at the Overlook Hotel, apparently relishing the...
Misaligned bathroom tile prompts letter of complaint to God, Santa, or anyone who will listen
An autistic person using a new bathroom for the first time has had to delay their urgent bodily functions due to spotting something truly horrific on the walls, it has been reported. While everyone else who has used the bathroom has either not noticed, or...
Autistic man amazed to discover that maps bear some relation to the 3D world
An autistic man with an extensive collection of Ordnance Survey maps has been reportedly staggered to learn that some people use these 2D stimming devices to navigate their environment. Lloyd Didcot, 22, loves spending hours poring over the shapes of the coastlines and finding silly-sounding...
Autistic woman’s fragile state of mind revealed in increasingly dark crochet animals
An autistic woman who stated that she’s “Fine, honestly, fine. Fine! Why does everyone keep asking?!” has been unintentionally revealing her spiralling mood through her art, concerned bystanders have reported. Krista Shure, 23, who thinks she’s taken up a sweet, creative hobby crocheting teeny tiny...
Friend who asked a simple question blocks out a few hours on the calendar to wade through autistic woman’s reply
A friend who has had to block out a few hours on their calendar to fully digest a meandering, 3000-word response to their question was really only hoping for a yes or no answer, sources have reported. Eddie Albington, 25, explained: “I thought I might...
Organised scavenger hunt fails to account for autistic competence
This article is an It’s a Superpower?? special, set in the world of our audio sitcom! To find out more, see the bottom of the piece. What promised to be the world’s most complex scavenger hunt has failed to take into account autistic people’s propensity to actually...
Grinning autistic woman repeats pun in case you didn’t hear it the first three times
An autistic woman currently wearing a shit-eating grin like the Cheshire Cat who got the cream will repeat her latest pun as many times as necessary until she gets the response she’s hoping for, sources have reported. Olivia Buckingham, 34, and wife Navya Randhawa, 31,...
Friend sadly too neurotypical to understand any of your references
Your one and only friend who you didn’t meet on a Stargate SG-1 messaging board in the early 2000s is reportedly “too neurotypical” to understand any of your references to either popular or unpopular culture. Kelsey Dacey, 37, is apparently what’s known as a “regular...