Jackpot! AuDHD woman thinks she’s found natural gap to interject in conversation
An AuDHD woman believes she has finally found the right opening to join a group conversation, according to sources. Sarah Harrow, 24, has been awkwardly skirting the fringes of a lively group chatting at a party, but has just lined up a pithy reply to...
White autistic boy trying to play with his trains keeps being photographed for stock image library
An autistic boy who just wants to play with his train set keeps being snapped by a photographer for a stock image library, sources have revealed. Finley Rice, six, has been carefully trying to recreate all of Sodor’s railway lines on the floor of his...
Nana! This autistic teen only likes things intended for the elderly
An autistic teenager has been described not just as an “old soul” but a positively geriatric one, reports have confirmed. Lottie Fitzgerald, 16, feels that people who post “granny chic” on social media are a bunch of amateurs who wouldn’t know a Teasmade if it...
Autistic detective gets completely distracted by evidence of special interest at crime scene
An autistic detective has managed to completely lose track of the crime she’s supposed to be solving after noticing that she and the victim apparently shared a special interest, it has been revealed. Sarah Harrow, 44, who is usually described as “a completely fixed cannon...
Shit! ADHD winning on the day you really needed the autism to dominate
Your ADHD has, unfortunately, come to the fore on the exact day you needed your autism front and centre, it has been rumoured. Your autism, your age, would have been really useful for all these bank forms you needed to fill, and you were really...
Crisis! No one around for squeezy hug
An autistic woman has been left in a state of emergency after no one was around to hug her until her eyes popped out of her head, according to sources. Merve Öztürk, 34, reportedly experienced a wave of overwhelm while trying to defrost her freezer,...
New Autistic Trading Standards Agency to force ads to cut the shit
Adverts, best known as the noisy flashing events filled with lies which you habitually mute between television programs, are due to experience a massive overhaul by the new Autistic Trading Standards Agency (ATSA), sources have revealed. Inaugural head of the ATSA, Niamh Callaghan, 41, confirmed...
Autistic woman faces intense, silent stare down with reflection during haircut
An autistic woman is preparing herself for upwards of an hour and a half of awkward, unbroken eye contact with her own reflection in order to avoid the even more awkward hour and a half of small talk with her hairdresser, sources have revealed. Due...
No one ever died wondering what this autistic woman was thinking
An autistic woman known for saying the quiet part really fucking loudly has never left anyone in doubt as to what she really thinks, feels or low-key wants to pummel, sources have claimed. Emma Bernard, 32, leaves nothing left unsaid, which, rather than leaving her...
Fidget toys not helping, says autistic woman who never uses them
An autistic woman has reportedly been left disappointed by the fidget toys she hasn’t touched since buying them. Talia Cohen, 34, says she derived great relief from the numerous Tangles, fidget spinners and acupressure rings she splurged on after her diagnosis, but was frustrated to...
