Autistic woman about to steer completely unrelated conversation towards Mothman
An autistic woman is preparing to swing a totally irrelevant conversation towards her favourite cryptid, it has been reported. Sabeen Bhatt, 23, cannot stand small talk, instead preferring her talk to be roughly the size of the winged man-beast some reefer-smoking teens allegedly saw one...
Jigsaw Killer growing increasingly disillusioned with AuDHD person’s inability to stay on task
An AuDHD person caught in a Saw trap is really testing their captor’s patience, it has been reported. The Jigsaw Killer decided to take 39-year-old Kit McGodden captive in response to what he perceived to be their total apathy towards life, but he is beginning...
Witch in found footage horror film just autistic woman trying to show you her craft projects
A so-called “witch” thought to be stalking the protagonists of a found-footage horror film is just an autistic woman who wants to show someone her découpage, it has been rumoured. The Blair Witch, 35, has reportedly been making more of an effort to decompress after...
Autistic woman who cannot sleep about to spin worst possible scenario out of normal household noise
An autistic woman who cannot get to sleep is about to guarantee a totally sleepless night by applying her overactive imagination to the mundane sounds of her house, it has been reported. Abeer Zaki, 43, is lying awake as the hours tick by, which means...
Eh? Autistic woman’s Ouija board won’t stop spelling “POTS”, “MCAS” and “EDS” for some reason
An autistic woman attempting to communicate with spirits via an Ouija board is becoming increasingly perturbed by their insistence on spelling out medical acronyms, sources have said. Becky Armitage, 29, whipped out her spirit board one Saturday night while all her living friends were out...
Autistic woman would be on-trend if this were Salem and also 1665
An autistic woman is reportedly very fashionable, at least she would be if this were witch-trial-era Massachusetts, according to sources. Pippa Durham, 39, feels most at home in a long skirt and smart blouse with a big collar, which she thought was a nice moody...
Autistic man with talent of Edgar Allan Poe sadly also has finances of Edgar Allan Poe
An autistic man with the same knack for the macabre as celebrated writer Edgar Allan Poe is also sadly as cash-strapped as celebrated writer Edgar Allan Poe. Naveed Azkhat, 39, loves to write dark stories and poems for the nerds and bisexuals who frequent his...
Autistic woman plagued by nightmares of people reading her AO3 history
An autistic woman plagued by horrifying nightmares says the most frightening image of all is of the people she knows finding out what fanfiction she reads. Ima Onwugbenu, 23, has recently been suffering from uneasy dreams, but the one that haunts her most in the...
Autistic woman happy to help with computer if it means being called a wizard
An autistic woman is reportedly delighted to help her family with their tech issues as long as they continue to label her a “wizard” for doing so. Freya Emerson, 25, says she would have minded acting as unpaid tech support for her relatives, but their...
Traitor! Only friend autistic person knows at party needs the toilet
The only friend an autistic person has at a party they are both attending is about to cruelly leave them to fend for themselves, according to eyewitnesses. Kit McGodden, 31, only came to the party on the promise that Brenda Hernández, also 31, wouldn’t let...