Masochist? This autistic man lives in London
An autistic man has been called a “glutton for punishment” after it was revealed he lives in one of the most overwhelming cities in the world of his own free will. Graeme Hart, 56, traded the infinitely more sensible Hertfordshire for London thirty years ago,...
“Terrifying” email revealed to be completely benign
An email initially described by an autistic woman as “terrifying” has been discovered to be absolutely harmless after she clicked through. Talia Cohen, 34, received an email from her manager with the frightening subject line “Booking in a quick chat to check in”, which was...
Autistic woman’s emotional support animal just reptile who doesn’t give a fuck about her
An autistic woman’s so-called “emotional support animal” is just a limbless mini-dinosaur who doesn’t care whether she lives or dies, it has been reported. Peperami, a snake owned by 29-year-old Tricia Squire, views humans as big warm-blooded apes whose sole purpose is to bring him...
New game show allows autistic girls to win a misdiagnosis
An all-new game show launching next month allows young girls who are clearly autistic to win a diagnosis they haven’t done anything to warrant, according to reports. Fob ‘Em Off! invites children between the ages of six and 12 to spin a wheel, which can...
Man trapped in “Kafkaesque nightmare” realises it’s just his autism assessment
A man who thought he was living in a Kafkaesque nightmare has reportedly been informed that he is just in the middle of the autism assessment process. Naveed Azkhat, 39, felt himself becoming crushed under the weight of an unseen authority that wants him to...
Autistic woman asked to rate pain from 1 to 10 has several clarifying questions
An autistic woman who was asked to rate her pain on a scale from 1 to 10 has so many follow-up questions that her doctor’s appointment risks becoming an interrogation, according to reports. Paige Thomas, 24, attends regular appointments for her chronic pain, although she...
Autistic person’s break time just ruminating about work with the TV on
An autistic person reportedly spends their work breaks continuing to think about work, albeit in front of a larger screen. Avery Mann, 49, values the moments they get to decompress from their work-from-home admin job, but has never actually decompressed, instead agonising over everything that...
Beanie Baby listening to you vent doesn’t think you’re being unreasonable
The Beanie Baby listening to your latest frustrated rant thinks you’re totally in the right, according to reports. Mark, 16, a cuddly buffalo with dinky beanbag hooves, has been perched attentively on your bed, watching with calm round eyes as you tearfully offload about your...
Autistic woman due for sudden attack of The Sadness for no discernible reason
An autistic woman in an Entirely Fine period of her life is reportedly about to be hit with a profound wave of melancholy, just because. Noriko Hamazaki, 38, bounced out of bed after a restful sleep, threw on her comfortable dungarees and cycled to her...
Autistic message ends text chain forever
An autistic person’s seemingly inoffensive text message has caused the recipient to stop replying altogether, it has been reported. Des Ackerman, 19, was chatting to new friend Alma Montague, 20, about improv when they sent a message that spelled the end of the conversation, and...
