The Bourne Identity? AuDHD woman in luteal phase has no fucking clue who she is
An AuDHD woman about to start her period has reportedly been compared to Jason Bourne after failing to recall any biographical information about herself. Noriko Hamazaki, 35, has been experiencing a rapid deterioration in cognitive function as her period draws closer, leading her to forget...
AuDHD man disgusted by attempts to converse with him before 5pm
An AuDHD man has been left “appalled” by people trying to speak to him before he becomes fully functional sometime in the early evening, reports have claimed. Naveed Azkhat, 42, suffered the grave offence after emerging into his living room, where his family were lying...
AuDHD woman set to finally win life with next bout of overcompensation
An AuDHD woman is reportedly finally going to solve all her problems with one more “boom” phase of her lifelong boom-and-bust cycle. Navya Randhawa, 38, has had “learn to slow down” on her to do list for the past 15 years, and says she will...
Autistic birthday girl allows relatives to choose from pre-agreed list of surprises
An autistic birthday girl has drawn up a list of approved surprises for her family to prevent any actual surprises, it has been rumoured. Krista Shure, who is about to turn 12, says she has enough to deal with without the prospect of her family...
Heatwave has autistic woman determined not to go to Hell
The latest UK heatwave has reportedly caused one autistic woman to embrace a life of piety to prevent having to spend her afterlife anywhere hotter. Chi-Young Lee, 29, was happy being a sinner until the apocalyptic English weather tested her thermoregulation issues to the point...
People who can regulate their temperature having bloody brilliant time right now
People who don’t wither as soon as the mercury rises above 20 degrees Celsius are having an absolute blast, it has been rumoured. The freaks, who think nothing of standing at a flaming barbecue while Ragnarok kicks off around them, are reportedly keen to outdo...
Masochist? This autistic man lives in London
An autistic man has been called a “glutton for punishment” after it was revealed he lives in one of the most overwhelming cities in the world of his own free will. Graeme Hart, 56, traded the infinitely more sensible Hertfordshire for London thirty years ago,...
“Terrifying” email revealed to be completely benign
An email initially described by an autistic woman as “terrifying” has been discovered to be absolutely harmless after she clicked through. Talia Cohen, 34, received an email from her manager with the frightening subject line “Booking in a quick chat to check in”, which was...
Autistic woman’s emotional support animal just reptile who doesn’t give a fuck about her
An autistic woman’s so-called “emotional support animal” is just a limbless mini-dinosaur who doesn’t care whether she lives or dies, it has been reported. Peperami, a snake owned by 29-year-old Tricia Squire, views humans as big warm-blooded apes whose sole purpose is to bring him...
New game show allows autistic girls to win a misdiagnosis
An all-new game show launching next month allows young girls who are clearly autistic to win a diagnosis they haven’t done anything to warrant, according to reports. Fob ‘Em Off! invites children between the ages of six and 12 to spin a wheel, which can...
