Study finds colour-coded calendar not going to save you from yourself
A recent study has reportedly found that the beautiful colour-coded schedule you made to help you get your life together is not a substitute for a working frontal lobe. Researchers have discovered that the more you tell yourself what to do via rainbow-coloured blocks of...
Bar never been lower for “autism expertise”, study finds
A newly published survey has found that nearly anything can make someone an autism expert, according to the totally unbiased people behind it. The survey, conducted specifically by people who have doctorates in anything other than autism, found that the majority of modern “autism experts”...
The kids are alright! Autistic tweens more together than you’ve ever been in your life
Young autistic people today are handling this all far better than you ever have and ever will, it has been claimed. Ever since accepting that you are no longer young, you have noticed the startling trend in various little cousins, neighbours and friends’ children, who...
Autism to remain permanent source of confusion for family who’ve known you your whole life
The people who raised you still don’t have a solitary clue about your autism and will continue to act like their entire world has been shaken whenever you bring it up, according to sources. Your family, all old enough to know better, react with the...
Autistics sidetracked from life or death situation by promise of cheese
This article is an It’s a Superpower?? special, set in the world of our audio sitcom! To find out more, see the bottom of the piece. A group of autistic people rushing to ensure the feta – fate – of the world were reportedly distracted by the...
Autistic person still riding high of someone recognising graphic on their T-shirt
An autistic person is reportedly “going to be okay forever” after someone recognised the graphic on their T-shirt. Des Ackerman, 23, wore a T-shirt printed with the poster for Labyrinth, a film that millions of people in the world have definitely seen, and was delighted...
AuDHD person’s self-medicating to take on charming pumpkin-spice theme
An AuDHD person’s usual self-medicating is set to take on a cosy autumnal vibe thanks to whichever brilliant bastard came up with pumpkin spice, it has been reported. Eli Port, 30, has spent most of their adult life trying to soothe the savage beast inside...
“Just use your imagination” suggestion failed to consider autistic woman’s deeply fucked-up thoughts
This article is an It’s a Superpower?? special, set in the world of our audio sitcom! To find out more, see the bottom of the piece. An autistic woman told to “use her imagination” demonstrated why that is a terrible, terrible idea, according to the horrible nightmare-beasts...
Autistic woman looking forward to autumn, where she will continue not to leave the house
An autistic woman claims she cannot wait for autumn, during which she will leave her house about as little as she did in summer, according to sources. Brenda Hernández, 39, doesn’t get out much, but her limited trips outside have been limited further by the...
Autistic woman rejects job instability by being certain she will lose her job
An autistic woman has said a resounding “no” to feeling insecure about her job in today’s market by accepting that losing it is inevitable, sources have said. Chi-Young Lee, 26, has reportedly grown tired of the constant precarity of working in the creative industries, where...