Women in male fields! This female autism researcher hates women
A prominent autism researcher has reportedly proven she can shit on autistic women as well as any man in the field. In a recent interview, Professor Karen Hoyland argued that women who claim to be autistic are just angling for a diagnosis, since researchers like...
Mental simulations of people getting angry at you bound to pay off any day now
Mentally rehearsing arguments that will never happen is sure to serve you well at some point, sources have claimed. Your brain has reportedly acted as an arena for a never-ending series of hypothetical conflicts since you were young. In nearly every case, your imaginary sparring...
Chic! Autistic woman’s autumn/winter runny nose seamlessly replaced by spring/summer runny nose
An autistic woman has been labelled a “trendsetter” after demonstrating how to seamlessly switch from a cold-weather runny nose to a hot-weather runny nose, it has been reported. Mary Walker, 43, believes that perpetually-drippy noses are a timeless classic, best paired with a nasty crumpled-up...
AuDHDer outnerded by people who actually remember the things they read
An auDHD person has reportedly been well and truly outnerded just because their fellow nerds can actually retain tiny details like plot and character. Kit McGodden, 34, loves all things fantasy, but their autistic desire to know everything about their favourite books, films and games...
Everything that makes autistic woman happy terrible for her gut
Every single thing an autistic woman loves is turning her gut microbiome into a Mad Max-style wasteland, it has been reported. Tricia Squire, 37, allegedly loves spicy food, reclining after dinner like a Roman emperor, and sipping cold coffee for hydration when she’s forgotten to...
“This party’s a bit shit, isn’t it?”: the sexiest things you can say to your autistic partner, ranked
If you’ve got an autistic partner, chances are their raw sexual magnetism makes it hard to think about anything other than jumping their vitamin-D-deficient bones. But if you’re looking to spice things up in a way that won’t aggravate your paramour’s gut issues, The Daily...
Teacher who told autistic child to “speak up” really beginning to regret it
A teacher who encouraged an autistic child to speak up more in class is beginning to question the wisdom of that directive, it has been reported. Abeer Zaki, seven, was described as “quiet” in her last school report by teacher Eddie Albington, 46, who reportedly...
Hell yeah! Undiagnosed parents really killing it with the casual ableism lately
An autistic woman’s undiagnosed parents have really been smashing the internalised-ableism-fuelled microaggressions lately, sources have said. Mary Moorton, 60, has reportedly been incredible at asking 30-year-old daughter Siobhan whether she’ll be able to cope “with the big wide world” even though she can’t touch dirty...
Monster under autistic man’s bed actually a little worried about him
The scary monster living under an autistic man’s bed has reportedly got some concerns of its own, according to sources. Nightmare-being Graeme, an eldritch horror comprised of grasping, clutching shadow, has been living under 31-year-old Dexter Livingstone’s bed since they were both children. However, Graeme...
Gift of teddy bear holding giant love heart could honestly mean anything
The gift of a teddy bear holding a massive fuck-off plush heart on Valentine’s Day could honestly be interpreted in a number of ways, according to you. Although you reportedly understand that the bear, a golden-furred little fellow with a squidgy velvet heart stitched to...
