An autistic woman at a job interview has failed to guess what her prospective employers are secretly looking for, according to the panel.
Krista Shure, 27, says she thoroughly researched the paper company she was interviewing for, and took pains to practice answering questions without breaking into a sweat, but forgot to open her third eye, reach through the ether and take hold of her interviewers’ innermost thoughts – which means she is probably destined for the dole queue.
Shure said: “I’m really proud of how that went. I used the STAR method to outline my greatest achievements to date, showed an interest in the company’s core values, and expressed my hope to grow with the business in the long-term. I have successfully performed Normal for 20 minutes and greatly look forward to my imminent job offer.”
Interviewer Cameron Brereton, 54, said: “Ms Shure just doesn’t quite meet the standard we’re looking for. We don’t just want someone who can do the job competently! You simply can’t work in HR without an otherworldly air of omnipotence.”
“At no point did she correctly guess that I was thinking of the Ace of Spades, nor did she make any effort to contact the CFO’s recently deceased uncle.”
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