An autistic woman has reportedly been left disappointed by the fidget toys she hasn’t touched since buying them.

Talia Cohen, 34, says she derived great relief from the numerous Tangles, fidget spinners and acupressure rings she splurged on after her diagnosis, but was frustrated to discover that the benefit only lasts for as long as you keep using them, something which the manufacturers seem to have kept suspiciously quiet about.

Cohen said: “This is nonsense! Why do I have to remember to do things on a regular basis for my own wellbeing? That just seems wildly ableist.”

“What I need is a long-acting reversible fidget toy, on the same logic as the Depo-Provera shot, that I can just use every few months and continue to reap the benefits from. When the technology is available, I’m getting stress balls surgically implanted.”

Cohen then fell silent as she realised that her own body included at least four stress balls.

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