An autistic man’s train journey has unexpectedly changed, leading to the sort of ironic suffering normally reserved for an episode of The Twilight Zone, sources have revealed.

Lucas Fletcher, 40, was supposed to be travelling from Milford Haven to London Paddington, and was anticipating no more trouble than changing at Cardiff and several hours of looking out of the window, quietly whispering “horses” whenever he saw a horse. Unfortunately for Fletcher, the capricious gods of the rails appear to have chosen this day to turn their backs on him.

“It was all going according to plan,” Fletcher said. “I enjoy sitting down inside a fast metal snake and hurtling through the countryside as much as any self-respecting Trains Autistic. But then we stopped at a station and just… stayed there. The 20-minute gap I’d planned for a leisurely changeover at Cardiff began to shrink before my very eyes, and suddenly I was no longer a suave Man About Trains but a quivering pretender.”

Fletcher soon realised that he would miss his connecting train, and that this now constituted A Change Of Plans (derogatory). “I immediately started rehearsing the conversation I’d need to have with the train guard,” Fletcher said, “And obviously had to worry about the whole seat situation. Not to mention having to mentally prepare myself for – God forbid – ending up in the same carriage as a pissed up hen-party…”

At the time of writing, passengers reported seeing Fletcher gripping a Thomas The Tank Engine figurine and whispering about “the ultimate betrayal”.

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