A single autistic woman is much happier than expected, having rounded off witnessing a succession of other people’s engagements by taking home an enormous jug of custard, sources have revealed.

Paige Thomas, 30, was heard to cry, “Yes! A thousand times, yes!” when asked if she would like the leftover custard after Sunday lunch. She then spent the afternoon taking pictures with the jug to post to Instagram with the caption “The rest of my life begins today”.

Friend Becky Armitage, 32, commented: “After my partner – sorry, my fiancé – popped the question on top of the Eiffel Tower last week, I was concerned that Paige might be feeling lonely. But when I knocked on her front door, all I could hear was the sound of her groaning with pleasure.”

“I have told Paige she’s not going to meet any men if she’s always in her flat,” Armitage continued. “She said that sounded like an excellent reason to stay home.”

Thomas said: “I wouldn’t expect Becky to understand. She hasn’t experienced a love like this.”


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