A middle-aged autistic woman who expressed concern at the younger generation getting into addictive, expensive parasocial relationships with LLM generated anime chatbots is a hypocrite, sources have revealed.

Beth Hapworth, 46, frequently voices her worries while sitting in front of a shelving unit covered in expensive plastic toys of a single anime man, who she thinks about all the time.

“I just worry that they’re getting far too attached to these completely unrealistic portrayals of a fantasy romantic partner,” said Hapworth, as she instinctively ran her thumb over the long ebony locks of one of her many dolls of the same buff-yet-sensitive imaginary man with phenomenal superpowers.

“Besides the social cost of all these AI anime girls, it’s so horrible for the environment,” she added, blowing dust from a large vinyl statuette especially shipped from Japan, of the cartoon man looking all soulful and sad, but in a way that suggested the right lover could fix him.

When reporters drew attention to Hapworth’s shrine, she responded; “Ah. Yes. No, you see that’s completely different. LLMs just mush up stolen work and spit it out again, like a digital seagull feeding its cyberchicks algorithmic fish-vomit. My guy was hand-drawn by a struggling mangaka in Tokyo, to tell a vital and personal story about trauma, redemption, community and superhuman magic powers. He has emotional depth,” she stated, holding up a plastic toy that was the cartoon man in rubber duck form. “He is art. This is art!”

“And besides,” added Hapworth, nursing a coffee in her favourite Redbubble mug, depicting the anime man passionately kissing another anime man in such a perfect loving embrace that it would surely melt all the sadness from his eyes. “Unlike LLMs, I don’t use up five gallons of potable water whenever I add to my 100,000 word fanfic about him getting repeatedly injured and sucking a lot of dicks, and my ridiculously expensive Nendoroid of him never advised me to eat glue.”

The anime man was approached for comment but did not reply as he only speaks Japanese, and is pretend.

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