A newly diagnosed autistic woman has miraculously refrained from contacting everyone who’s ever misunderstood her socially, sources have confirmed.

Paige Thomas, 28 – who finally received her autism diagnosis last week after three years on an NHS waiting list – described the development as “in your face, Becky!”

She said: “Remember when you asked if I liked the fringe you got cut and I said it made you look like the missing kid from Stranger Things? Well, guess what? I’m autistic!”

“Oh and Dave, remember when you said ‘I love you” and I said ‘you’re welcome’ and you said I was a cold unfeeling monster?” She continued. “Well guess what? Bam. Autism.”

Thomas added: “This explains everything I’ve ever done. Maybe I should just issue a press release.”

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