Autistic woman in slasher movie becomes final girl by never answering phone
An autistic woman in a slasher movie has become the final girl by default thanks to her aversion to picking up phone calls. Lottie Fitzgerald, 21, was reportedly the intended victim of anonymous murderer, Ghostface, but despite numerous attempts, she could not be contacted. Ghostface...
Fright night? Autistic woman frightened every night by The Thoughts
An autistic woman doesn’t have to wait until Halloween to freak herself out due to grappling with existential despair 365 nights a year, it has been reported. Every evening, Niamh Callaghan, 31, from Manchester, journeys through a real-life horror film – happening in her head. ...
Autistic boy goes trick-or-treating as sheet with eye holes cut out
An autistic boy’s Halloween costume has caused him to be repeatedly be mistaken for a ghost despite him clearly being a boy wearing a sheet with eye holes cut out, sources have revealed. Finley Rice, seven, had been excited to unveil his homemade costume, but...
Crazy! Dress like a mental patient this Halloween with joggers and a hoodie
Forget the straitjacket costumes! It’s time to REALLY dress mentally ill. Frighten all your friends on October 31st… by dressing like a regular person. To get that fresh-from-the-insane-asylum look, you’ll need a comfy sweater, some tracksuit bottoms and… wait, that’s it, you’re done! Who would...
Terrifying! Autistic woman unmasks for Halloween
An autistic woman has scared everybody shitless by unmasking her autism for Halloween, according to reports. Emma Bernard, 30, from Leicester, has spent the day terrifying colleagues at the office by commiting to the horrifying act of being herself. Despite one overzealous coworker turning up...
Smart! Autistic woman to deter trick-or-treaters by placing orange severed head by door
An autistic woman has announced plans to scare trick-or-treaters away by appointing a severed head carved from a spooky orange vegetable the guardian of her door. Megan Aldrich, 40, made the decision after last year’s hanging skeleton failed have the desired effect. Aldrich explained: “I...
Scary! Neurotypical decorates home with chilling motivational quotes
A neurotypical woman has reportedly terrified guests with her collection of eerie wall quotes. Deborah Whitehead, 57, from Cheshire, has chosen to furnish her home with obnoxiously positive wall prints, even in the bathroom – in case you were ever thinking about going in there...
I lived it! Autistic woman misdiagnosed as vampire
A 39-year-old woman has finally received an autism diagnosis after years of being misdiagnosed as a bloodsucking creature of the night, it has been announced. Siobhan Moorton’s autistic traits were reportedly missed due to the sheer volume that overlapped with vampirism. Moorton explained: “My light...
Autistic woman fine with horror films freaked out by terse sounding email
An autistic woman who can cope with the head-spinning scene from The Exorcist (1973) has been left fearing for her life after receiving an email response that seemed slightly clipped, according to reports. Sources say Siobhan Moorton, 31, spotted the message in her inbox this...
Autistic woman celebrates spooky season by getting ghosted again
An autistic woman has marked the arrival of spooky season by getting ghosted once more, it has been rumoured. Niamh Callaghan, 26, had been engaging in flirty banter with Cameron Brereton, 29, for a little over three weeks when he abruptly disappeared from all social...
