An autistic person is making sure to be relentlessly self-critical just in case the world ever decides to take the pressure off of them, sources have claimed.

Kit McGodden, 25, is reportedly not content to allow the world to be ableist on its own, and feels weirdly uncomfortable during the rare moments in which they’re not struggling. McGodden says they cope with their discomfort by holding themselves to standards that would be unfair for any human being on Earth, let alone an autistic one.

They commented: “At my last performance review, my boss said I’d improved. I said, ‘Look, you don’t have to be nice to me just because I’m autistic. We both know that bringing rocky road to the office bake sale was a total cop-out on my part.’”

“Suffering builds character. If it didn’t, there’d be no point and we’d have to seriously consider the idea that we’re not all meant to be suffering. So I’ll just go ahead and put myself on probation.”

McGodden was later waved ahead in the bus queue by a kindly older man, to which they replied: “Thank you, but I’m actually planning to let the doors close on me and then run after the bus the whole way.”

Like what you’re reading? Make us your new special interest! Help us grow The Daily Tism by sharing our articles, following us on Instagram, Bluesky, Threads and Facebook, shouting us a coffee on Ko-Fi or joining our bonus-content-packed Club for Terrible Autistics by subscribing to our Patreon. We also now have merch! Check out your favourite headlines in comfy wearable form over on Teemill.

You can also watch episodes one and two of our sketch show, The Daily Tism News, in collaboration with Turtle Canyon Comedy, or listen to episode three in audio form – and tune into our podcast, Autistic Women Oversharing to find out WAY too much about our writers.