An autistic woman’s so-called “emotional support animal” is just a limbless mini-dinosaur who doesn’t care whether she lives or dies, it has been reported.

Peperami, a snake owned by 29-year-old Tricia Squire, views humans as big warm-blooded apes whose sole purpose is to bring him food, and probably would not notice if Squire were replaced by someone else. Squire, meanwhile, says she dotes on him as if he were her own son.

Squire said: “Peperami is my baby! I got him when he was little, and I’ve seen him through every moult and milestone. I make sure to tell him what a precious boy he is and boop his little snout whenever I go in to clean his tank. This is very meaningful to me, and hopefully even just a little bit meaningful to him.”

“I’m sure he does love me, in his own way. Given the choice between me and his heated rock, he only chooses the rock three times out of every five.”

“I’d make the case for bringing him on flights as a support animal, but there’s a whole movie about why people tend not to like that sort of thing.”

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