A so-called “witch” thought to be stalking the protagonists of a found-footage horror film is just an autistic woman who wants to show someone her découpage, it has been rumoured.

The Blair Witch, 35, has reportedly been making more of an effort to decompress after work recently and, following a trip to Hobbycraft, has been having fun making little sculptures incorporating what she finds in the forest. So far, her attempts to show people her handiwork has caused them to cower in fear, which the witch hopes isn’t a comment on her abilities.

She said: “I made a little tableau out of the leftover chicken bones from my lunch and thought they might like to see it. They thought it was dark magic! I was upcycling, which, ethically speaking, is the complete opposite!”

“I know all my crafts are looking a little rough, but I’ve just started The Artist’s Way and I’m really trying to abandon perfectionism and allow myself to be seen. Which is quite hard when people run away at the sight of you to go and vlog in their tents.”

“I didn’t expect such a hostile reception, to be honest. If anyone cares, I’ll be standing in a corner staring at the wall.”


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