An autistic woman has reportedly inspired an alarming amount of men to write screenplays about her, just by simply making polite conversation and existing. 

Lottie Fitzgerald, 27, was deeply shaken after an interaction at her local coffee shop, where a barista described her with ominously poetic language. 

Fitzgerald said: “He complimented my teal corduroy overalls. He said I was ‘a splash of bright viridian in an otherwise grey world.'”

Fitzgerald shuddered as she pulled her floral embroidered cardigan over the same overalls that caused the altercation. “I’m probably overreacting. Surely that interaction won’t inspire anything. But that’s what I thought last week when I held a door open for a man at the library. He then went into some sort of trance, and began to shout word for word the entire script for Amélie.”

“So from now on, just to be safe, I’m going to go somewhere else for my morning latte. I just have to find a coffee shop where all the baristas aren’t also aspiring screenwriters,” Fitzgerald added unconfidently. “On second thought, maybe I should just quit drinking coffee?” 

 At press time, Fitzgerald has stated she has no plans to see A Splash of Bright Viridian in an Otherwise Grey World, opening in theatres July 10th. 

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