An autistic woman is either the most unnecessarily polite person you’ve ever met in your entire life or murderously hangry with no in between, sources have revealed. 

Marketing executive Lottie Fitzgerald, 25, who should have had a snack an hour ago but didn’t want to be rude by eating in the middle of a staff meeting, is reportedly due to go from her usual “no worries if not” trauma response to flushing your head down the loo in a matter of seconds. 

Fitzgerald explained: “I’ll be alright for another half an hour, I don’t want to be a bother, you UNMITIGATED FUCKFLAPS!”

“It’s just such an amazing presentation, I didn’t want to interrupt with my own garbage needs,” Fitzgerald continued. “Speaking of garbage needs, this garbage presentation needs serious work. I mean HOW MANY FONTS CAN YOU FIT ONTO ONE SLIDE, RYAN, YOU FLAKEY, USELESS TURDMUNCHING SHITTLECUNT??”

“THE BAR IS ON THE FLOOR FOR YOU PISSSHITS AND YOU STILL CAN’T CLEAR IT! AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PICK ONE SPELLING OF ‘PERSONALISE / PERSONALIZE!” ARE YOU AMERICAN OR BRITISH, RYAN?? MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND, YOU INCOMPETENT, VAGUELY-SENTIENT SCROTE!”

Fitzgerald was later seen leaving a meeting with HR while sad-gnawing on a cookie.

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