An autistic woman who enjoys cosy games about public spaces being dreamy pastel havens has reportedly realised they may have lulled her into a false sense of security about Post Offices.

Navya Randhawa, 29, loves playing whimsical little computer games where anthropomorphic animals send letters to one another, babble about collecting butterflies, and own stable, prosperous small businesses in economies where money literally grows on trees.

Randhawa had been labouring under the assumption that dropping off a parcel at her local Post Office would retain a least a little of that cosy charm, but was quickly plunged into the cold misery of what the Post Office is actually like in real life.

Randhawa said: “It’s cold, but I’m still sweating for some reason. The woman behind me keeps tutting pointedly as if we are not all in the exact same position, and the man currently being served has been there for about 20 minutes buying postage, paying his TV licence while wading through invisible treacle and attempting to pay in sesterces. I can see daylight outside the windows but spiritually it feels like 2am in here.”

“I finally got to the front with my lovely little pre-paid parcel and watched as it was slung unceremoniously into a big tarpaulin bag. Where are the rosy-cheeked messenger pigeons or broomstick-riding kittens to deliver the post? Where’s the whimsy I was promised?”

A spokesperson for the Post Office said: “We’ve had to discontinue our ‘whimsy’ offering due to shortages of mail-sorting mice. We tried with human employees, but everyone complained that the tiny flat caps were too tight.”

Like what you’re reading? Make us your new special interest! Help us grow The Daily Tism by sharing our articles, following us on Instagram, Bluesky, Threads and Facebook, shouting us a coffee on Ko-Fi or joining our bonus-content-packed Club for Terrible Autistics by subscribing to our Patreon. 

Our audio sitcom by and for autistic people, It’s a Superpower?? is out weekly wherever you get podcasts! Binge the whole season early and ad-free on Patreon.

You can also watch episodes one and two of our sketch show, The Daily Tism News, in collaboration with Turtle Canyon Comedy, or listen to episode three in audio form – and tune into our podcast, Autistic Women Oversharing to find out WAY too much about our writers.

We also now have merch! Check out your favourite headlines in comfy wearable form over on Teemill.