Nailed it! Woman who made therapist cry wins therapy
A woman who caused her therapist to become misty eyed during a session is feeling secretly smug about it, according to reports. Emma Bernard, 25, from Carlisle, swears she saw counsellor Tricia Squire, 45, becoming tearful when Bernard was recounting her early childhood years –...
Only autistic man without social anxiety raised by wolves
The only autistic man who managed to avoid debilitating social anxiety was raised in the woods by a feral pack of predators, it has been revealed. Gavin Monks, 27, known by his wolf family as He Who Runs Weird, has developed the condition since rejoining...
Autistic woman reveals late dungaree diagnosis
A well-known autistic influencer has received an adult Dungaree diagnosis, she shared in a moving instagram post. Kelsey Dacey, 23, from Somewhere Down South, was diagnosed with autism two years ago – but insists this latest realisation was even more life changing. “I mean, I...
New diagnostic test to determine if you’re enough like autistic nephew
Scientists have announced that a brand-new autism scale will measure if patients are enough like this random woman’s nephew with autism. The new criteria will determine if patients sufficiently resemble six-year-old Finley Rice from Kent, who loves monster trucks and fart jokes. His aunt, Dr....
Better late than never, concludes woman’s autism report
A woman approaching her 98th birthday has received a late late diagnosis of autism, reports have confirmed. Julie Walker, 97, from Goole – who received the full copy of her assessment report last Thursday – initially assumed her letter from the King had arrived early....
“What are you thinking?” therapist asks autistic woman thinking about viral reel
An autistic woman who paused for a prolonged period during a therapy session was actually recalling a recent Instagram reel, it has been revealed. Sarah Harrow, 25, has been attending regular weekly appointments with an experienced counsellor – but worries when her mind starts to...
Coincidence! Neurotypical woman raising awareness of autism also wants you to buy these gut vitamins
A neurotypical woman who has selflessly dedicated her life to raising awareness about autism also wouldn’t mind if you bought these gut vitamins, it has been reported. Karen Hoyland, 42, spends most of her day talking about the “devastating impact” autism has on families and...
Woman outraged to learn that inner child work is unpaid
An autistic woman has been shocked to discover “inner child work” is not a means to generate income – halfway through a course of therapy. Sarah Harrow, 27, had been seeing an NHS professional for eight weeks when she arrived at the realisation that she...
Newly diagnosed autistic woman offered follow-up appointment with Twitter dickheads
A late-diagnosed autistic woman seeking further support has been generously offered limitless sessions on social media with some cunts, it has been reported. Paula Mulberry, 41, spent three years on an NHS waiting list before her suspicions that she might be autistic were confirmed. When...
“What if I’m not autistic?” Stresses person handing assessor 91-page dissertation about life
An autistic person is anxious that they won’t receive a formal diagnosis at their upcoming autism assessment – despite providing the psychologist with a folder the size of Tolstoy’s War and Peace. Avery Mann, 40, who was asked to give “a few examples” about their...
