Autistics sidetracked from life or death situation by promise of cheese
This article is an It’s a Superpower?? special, set in the world of our audio sitcom! To find out more, see the bottom of the piece. A group of autistic people rushing to ensure the feta – fate – of the world were reportedly distracted by the...
Autistic person still riding high of someone recognising graphic on their T-shirt
An autistic person is reportedly “going to be okay forever” after someone recognised the graphic on their T-shirt. Des Ackerman, 23, wore a T-shirt printed with the poster for Labyrinth, a film that millions of people in the world have definitely seen, and was delighted...
AuDHD person’s self-medicating to take on charming pumpkin-spice theme
An AuDHD person’s usual self-medicating is set to take on a cosy autumnal vibe thanks to whichever brilliant bastard came up with pumpkin spice, it has been reported. Eli Port, 30, has spent most of their adult life trying to soothe the savage beast inside...
“Just use your imagination” suggestion failed to consider autistic woman’s deeply fucked-up thoughts
This article is an It’s a Superpower?? special, set in the world of our audio sitcom! To find out more, see the bottom of the piece. An autistic woman told to “use her imagination” demonstrated why that is a terrible, terrible idea, according to the horrible nightmare-beasts...
Autistic woman looking forward to autumn, where she will continue not to leave the house
An autistic woman claims she cannot wait for autumn, during which she will leave her house about as little as she did in summer, according to sources. Brenda Hernández, 39, doesn’t get out much, but her limited trips outside have been limited further by the...
Autistic woman rejects job instability by being certain she will lose her job
An autistic woman has said a resounding “no” to feeling insecure about her job in today’s market by accepting that losing it is inevitable, sources have said. Chi-Young Lee, 26, has reportedly grown tired of the constant precarity of working in the creative industries, where...
Autistic woman doing everything right wrong
An autistic woman has reportedly discovered that she is actually doing everything right in life, but that she’s somehow doing “doing things right” incorrectly. Abeer Zaki, 21, is reportedly a well-rounded, responsible person, and no one at home, university or in her social circle seems...
Autistic woman begs writers of her life to stop making it so narratively interesting
An autistic woman has begged the writers of her unfolding life story to stop resorting to bombshells and unexpected tragedies. Ima Onwugbenu, 40, says that any ordinary person would not be able to cope with the extreme ups and downs her writers’ room have been...
New autistic hire about to make company look really fucking virtuous, says boss
The head of a really very ethical and moral company has claimed that their new autistic employee is about to do wonders for their reputation, according to sources. Karen Hoyland, 49, says she is a vocal advocate for diverse hiring practices in the name of...
AuDHD person finally saves enough Instagram Reels to fix every problem they’ve ever had
An AuDHD person has finally built up a bank of Instagram Reels designed to address every issue they have had, currently have, and will ever have, it has been reported. Des Ackerman, 31, scrolls their feed looking for videos made by the kind of self-actualised...