AuDHD person finally saves enough Instagram Reels to fix every problem they’ve ever had
An AuDHD person has finally built up a bank of Instagram Reels designed to address every issue they have had, currently have, and will ever have, it has been reported. Des Ackerman, 31, scrolls their feed looking for videos made by the kind of self-actualised...
“Sorry, he’s a bit full on” says neurotypical about person she keeps inviting to things
A neurotypical woman has resolved to keep apologising for the presence of someone who consistently exhausts them instead of just not inviting them to things, eyewitnesses have claimed. Miya Wilkes, 33, cannot stop inviting 35-year-old Graeme Hart to every single social event she hosts, despite...
Autistic Benjamin Button excited to see what comorbidity he’ll lose next
An autistic man who ages in reverse says he cannot wait to see what health issue he’ll get to cast off next. Benjamin Button, who was born at 100 and is currently on his way back to a sprightly 45, looks forward to every passing...
Neighbour with leafblower just doing it for fun now
Your next-door neighbour has reportedly confirmed that they were done with the leafblower ages ago and are now just running it as an exercise in free will. Kit McGodden, 34, who has never given you any other reason to suspect they weren’t a rational human...
Queer autistic woman’s friendship group has interpersonal dynamics of Fleetwood Mac
A queer autistic woman’s friendship group is as fraught with drama as a Rumors-era Fleetwood Mac, eyewitnesses have claimed. Abeer Zaki, 24, reports having formed close friendships with four other twentysomethings at her local board game café. The five reportedly grew close, although multiple love...
Autistic man bursting with anxiety over long-term job he is absolutely overqualified for
An autistic man is overwhelmed by anxiety due to the job he has had for years and can do in his sleep, according to eyewitnesses. IT technician Lucas Fletcher, 46, reportedly does not mind talking on the phone all day because he has seen and...
Autistic woman replaces community mental health team with emo band
An autistic woman has replaced her local community mental health team with the edgy middle-aged men who have been propping up her emotional wellbeing since she was a teenager, it has been claimed. Krista Shure, 35, has given up on ringing her local non-emergency mental...
Autistic person who sent too many messages in a row actually really needs to ask you something now
An autistic person who sent too many texts in a row actually, er, has something important they need an answer about, it has been claimed. 19-year-old Avery Mann’s need to be thorough, coupled with their excited stream-of-consciousness communication style, means they are a notorious octuple-texter...
Autistic woman finally takes enough LinkedIn courses to become neurotypical
An autistic woman has completed enough courses on LinkedIn to become possibly the most neurotypical person alive. Deborah Whitehead, 34, takes LinkedIn courses whenever she needs to look busy at work, but believes she may have “girlbossed too close to the sun” and now knows...
Screaming baby on plane has a point
An autistic man aboard a flight has admitted that the squalling infant a few rows behind him is having a totally valid menty b, according to reports. Onye Egbuchunam, 50, was trying to sleep on the flight from Dublin to New York when baby Des...