Neighbour with leafblower just doing it for fun now
Your next-door neighbour has reportedly confirmed that they were done with the leafblower ages ago and are now just running it as an exercise in free will. Kit McGodden, 34, who has never given you any other reason to suspect they weren’t a rational human...
Queer autistic woman’s friendship group has interpersonal dynamics of Fleetwood Mac
A queer autistic woman’s friendship group is as fraught with drama as a Rumors-era Fleetwood Mac, eyewitnesses have claimed. Abeer Zaki, 24, reports having formed close friendships with four other twentysomethings at her local board game café. The five reportedly grew close, although multiple love...
Autistic man bursting with anxiety over long-term job he is absolutely overqualified for
An autistic man is overwhelmed by anxiety due to the job he has had for years and can do in his sleep, according to eyewitnesses. IT technician Lucas Fletcher, 46, reportedly does not mind talking on the phone all day because he has seen and...
Autistic woman replaces community mental health team with emo band
An autistic woman has replaced her local community mental health team with the edgy middle-aged men who have been propping up her emotional wellbeing since she was a teenager, it has been claimed. Krista Shure, 35, has given up on ringing her local non-emergency mental...
Autistic person who sent too many messages in a row actually really needs to ask you something now
An autistic person who sent too many texts in a row actually, er, has something important they need an answer about, it has been claimed. 19-year-old Avery Mann’s need to be thorough, coupled with their excited stream-of-consciousness communication style, means they are a notorious octuple-texter...
Autistic woman finally takes enough LinkedIn courses to become neurotypical
An autistic woman has completed enough courses on LinkedIn to become possibly the most neurotypical person alive. Deborah Whitehead, 34, takes LinkedIn courses whenever she needs to look busy at work, but believes she may have “girlbossed too close to the sun” and now knows...
Screaming baby on plane has a point
An autistic man aboard a flight has admitted that the squalling infant a few rows behind him is having a totally valid menty b, according to reports. Onye Egbuchunam, 50, was trying to sleep on the flight from Dublin to New York when baby Des...
Autistic woman inherently mistrustful of new social media follower
An autistic woman is suspicious of the person who started following her on a social media site she posts to publicly, according to sources. Author Christine Smout, 43, was followed on Bluesky by someone she doesn’t know in real life, and has reportedly begun to...
Advertorial: Woman’s big Edinburgh Fringe show twist somewhat spoiled by advert in The Daily Tism
A woman promoting her Edinburgh Fringe show is working hard to conceal the big twist, starting with taking out an ad in The Daily Tism. In Giraffe, actor and writer Abigail Weinstock plays Eliana, a young woman who has always felt different for reasons she...
Autistic woman forced to endure meal not served in shallow pasta bowl
An autistic woman has experienced the abject horror of having to eat lunch out of a container other than a pleasingly shallow pasta bowl, it has been reported. Abeer Zaki, 40, thought all her friends were on the same page as her, but after a...