An autistic woman really, truly, honestly believes she’s going to stay out of whatever fuckery her family pulls this Christmas, it has been rumoured.
Siobhan Moorton, 42, has done all the therapy and inner-child work and is confident that nothing her family says or does can bait her into conflict, a confidence her partner has called “misplaced”.
Partner Aidan Michaels, 40, said: “Yeah I give it until the first elderly relative starts ranting about how everything is ‘woke’ before Siobhan’s shoulders take residence around her ears and stay frozen there until she inevitably snaps.”
“I predict that’ll happen around the time her sister flicks on the big light and when someone asks her to turn it off, tells everyone to stop pandering to Siobhan’s imaginary autism.”
Moorton commented: “I’m just glad their behaviour doesn’t affect me anym- I AM joining in!”
Moorton could not be reached for further comment as she was hiding in the bathroom, hyperventilating into a towel.
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