People with autism are showing signs that they may soon develop independent thoughts, and worse, start expressing them, researchers have said.

The stark warning comes after test subjects began demonstrating likes, dislikes and even what looked like love. 

Autism expert, Dr. Karen Hoyland, said: “During one experiment, a subject seemed like they might actually be getting angry, shouting ‘who are you and why are you rifling through my underwear drawer?’” 

“We explained that we had their parents’ full permission, and then quite remarkably they said ‘what the fuck? I’m 39 years old’,” she continued. “It was almost like they were aware of their own existence.”

But another leading expert disagrees with Dr. Hoyland’s assertion that this is a sign of autonomy, saying: “It may look convincing, but it’s all random nonsense. You can’t take anything they say during one of their little fits seriously. Which is just as well because if they start getting gobby, the grift is over.”

An autism sufferer, who chose to remain anonymous, but is Paige Thomas, 39, said: “Are you still here? Get the fuck out of my house!”

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