A man who thought he was living in a Kafkaesque nightmare has reportedly been informed that he is just in the middle of the autism assessment process.

Naveed Azkhat, 39, felt himself becoming crushed under the weight of an unseen authority that wants him to jump through nonsensical hoops just to exist, but on closer examination realised he had just been asked to fill out some forms for the assessors.

Azkhat said: “Someone who knows me well has to fill in one of these forms. But how can anyone who didn’t realise I was autistic be said to know me well? And how do I know they’ll be able to answer the questions in a way that’ll serve the process unless I coach them extensively, which almost defeats the purpose of asking them to fill out the form?”

“I have about seventy questions to answer, and I don’t understand the wording of half of them. It’s almost like a job I’m not being paid for, which reminds me of the real job I have which barely pays me either.”

“And then I have to email everything back to a different email than the one which sent me the forms, and then also submit a Google form, and then wait for two different people to respond to me about two separate things. I will only be able to contact certain people in this process via phone call, which is a struggle for me, although they’re not going to offer an alternative because they don’t think I’m autistic without a diagnosis.”

“Gregor Samsa isn’t special; I awaken from uneasy dreams every single morning.”

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