A Father’s Day present is eager to begin a new chapter in an autistic dad’s bedside drawer, according to reports. 

A wooden glasses stand shaped like a nose has been the latest to join forgotten presents from previous years – including toenail clippers, a Richard Hammond biography and a pizza cutter that never made it to the kitchen. 

“I don’t think any of us were ever quite weird enough for him,” World’s Best Farter Novelty Mug, six, admitted. “He inspected me seriously in opening and didn’t even laugh.” 

“My year? I think his daughter just panicked,” Beard Cream, 11, added. 

“I‘ve always fancied lying down in a dark room,” Glasses Stand Nose, zero, insisted. “Nobody bothers us. Except when he rustles through the drawer in a panic wondering where he’s put his specs down, several times a day.”

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