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04 Jul 2025
  • The Daily Tism The Daily Tism The Daily Tism
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News

Autistic child trick-or-treating with blue bucket grateful to be singled out for once 

An autistic boy who was given a blue bucket to trick-or-treat with to ensure everybody knows he’s different is just grateful to be singled out for once, his parents have said.  Finley Rice, seven, had merely planned to put on a Batman costume and go...
Sara Gibbs, 8 months ago 1 min read  
Health, News

“Zombie” just autistic person with sleep disorder 

A terrifying pasty-skinned wreck spotted shuffling towards the bus stop has turned out to be an autistic person with Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder, authorities have claimed. Kit McGodden, 37, from Harpurhey, was misidentified as being one of the living dead after they were seen staggering...
Andrew Hickey, 8 months ago 1 min read  
News

Fine! Satan gives in after 15 weeks of negotiations for autistic woman’s soul 

An autistic woman has officially become the first person to ever to out-negotiate Satan, it has been reported. Paige Thomas, 45, has claimed that she entered into negotiations with the Prince of Darkness in good faith – but talks over the terms of her soul...
Andrew Hickey, 8 months ago 2 min read  
News, Work

Tragic! Autistic woman dies after making wildly inappropriate joke 

An autistic woman has died on her arse following yet another gag unsuitable for her workplace, it has been confirmed.  Niamh Montague, 29, from Hull, was sitting in the shared office during the Friday afternoon conversation – which had previously included topics such as Tricia...
Elsa Williams, 8 months ago 1 min read  
News

AuDHD ghost late for haunting died ten years and two days ago this very night 

A motorist has once again failed to pick up the ghost of AuDHD woman on the anniversary of her death, sources have revealed, as she completely forgot she was meant to turn up at all until two days later. Cameron Brereton, 32, did not pick...
Andrew Hickey, 8 months ago 2 min read  
News

Demon spirit just woman who got out the bath asking you to pass her a towel 

A demon spirit initially sighted by a man in his apartment was actually an autistic woman who just wanted someone to pass her a towel, it has been revealed. Dexter Livingstone, 31, was lying in bed typing a WhatsApp message when he spotted the vengeful...
Elsa Williams, 8 months ago 1 min read  
News

Scary? Autistic man’s favourite porno is A Quiet Place  

An autistic man has issued a statement calling on the public not to kink shame him over his unusual choice of masturbatoy material.  Onanist, Cameron Brereton, 28, explained that he has eschewed mainstream pornography in favour of the 2018 horror movie, A Quiet Place. Brereton’s...
Sara Gibbs, 8 months ago 1 min read  
Love, News

Flirting? Autistic woman thought ghost was just really into pottery 

An autistic potter has only just realised that she has been conducting an intense love affair with a ghost for the last three months, and not just teaching him about creating earthenware, it has been announced.  Dexter Livingstone, 27, started turning up in the workshop...
Andrew Hickey, 8 months ago 2 min read  
News

Zombie sighting just autistic woman who checked out of conversation 

An apparent zombie sighting has since been revealed to be an autistic woman who had zoned out of a situation she wished she wasn’t physically present in, sources have confirmed.  Emma Bernard, 31, from Bolton, was in fact alive and breathing whilst cousin Megan Aldrich,...
Elsa Williams, 8 months ago 1 min read  
News

Robbed! Autistic man’s niche Halloween costume inexplicably fails to win contest  

An autistic man has demanded a recount after his hyper-specific Halloween costume failed to impress judges at a costume contest.  Lloyd Didcot, 45, was reportedly “shocked and outraged” when not a single judge correctly identified that he was dressed as Paul Tanner, second trombonist in...
Sara Gibbs, 8 months ago 1 min read  
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