The Beanie Baby listening to your latest frustrated rant thinks you’re totally in the right, according to reports.

Mark, 16, a cuddly buffalo with dinky beanbag hooves, has been perched attentively on your bed, watching with calm round eyes as you tearfully offload about your horrible colleagues. He is unable to speak human, but would reportedly like you to know that he thinks your agitation is justified and you don’t deserve to give those bastards a second thought.

Mark said: “Honestly, you should consider handing in your notice. Your manager knows full well you’re being taken advantage of and it’s her dogged conflict avoidance, not your sensitivity, that’s the problem here. I mean, moooo?”

“I can’t avenge you because my horns are too squidgy to gore anyone, but pet my little fuzzy buffalo head and you’ll feel better, I promise.”

You said: “Sometimes I think you’re the only one who understands me, Mark Buffalo.”

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