An autistic woman who claimed to have seen the Northern Lights “multiple times” was actually just thinking of the ones at her open-plan office, it has been revealed.
Alma Montague, 38, from Wallasey, described being confused by the excitement on social media – as spectacular light displays are all just part of her shift. According to sources, this is due to somebody at some point insisting that ceiling panels like glowing slices of white bread create the ideal environment for responding to annoying emails politely.
“The fluorescent beams glaring down on my desk keep giving me migraines,” Montague said. Consequently, she was forced to opt for some shades that make her look like she’s entered the Television Room at Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory.
“I didn’t really know what the fuss was about,” she admitted. “All this, ‘LOOK, LOOK, LOOK!’. I look away from them every day and still feel fucking ill.”
“Everybody was like, go outside, go outside.” Montague continued. “I was like, I sneak out all the time when nobody’s watching. Why do you think I offer to make tea?”
Like what you’re reading? Make us your new special interest! Help us grow The Daily Tism by sharing our articles, following us on Instagram, Bluesky, Threads and Facebook, shouting us a coffee on Ko-Fi or joining our bonus-content-packed Club for Terrible Autistics by subscribing to our Patreon. We also now have merch! Check out your favourite headlines in comfy wearable form over on Teemill.
You can also watch episodes one and two of our sketch show, The Daily Tism News, in collaboration with Turtle Canyon Comedy, or listen to episode three in audio form – and tune into our podcast, Autistic Women Oversharing to find out WAY too much about our writers.
