An autistic woman who started telling her life story forty-five minutes ago has only just got to the moment of her conception, sources have said.

Pippa Durham, 28, was attending a comedy night when the comedian on stage asked if she’d travelled far to be there. Eyewitnesses reported Durham responding: “I guess it depends on how far back you go,” before beginning with the industrial revolution.

Venue manager Eddie Albington, 43, said: “she hasn’t paused for breath in forty-five minutes now. If she dies from lack of oxygen, I’m not sure my insurance will cover it.”

He continued: “if the rest of the story is anything to go by, the account of her conception is going to be both graphic and disturbing.”

Pippa Durham could not be reached for comment, as at the time of publication, she was just getting to the bit about Zac Hanson being her sexual awakening.

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