The head of a really very ethical and moral company has claimed that their new autistic employee is about to do wonders for their reputation, according to sources.
Karen Hoyland, 49, says she is a vocal advocate for diverse hiring practices in the name of making the company LinkedIn look “D&I-licious”. She is proud to have attracted some Ethnic Ones and some Pronouns Ones, but had long been searching for someone who could pull off a pair of business-casual ear defenders.
Hoyland said gleefully: “Maybe I’ll win an inclusion award so I can call myself a Disability Superstar. I could put it on the wall of my office, right next to my Friends of Friends of Dorothy Award for Giving People Jobs Even Though They Are Gay and my Let People From Other Countries Do Computers Award.”
“I love my ‘diverse employees’ – that’s what I call the ones I have to remind myself to empathise with,” continued Hoyland. “We get on great – they always joke about things like ‘It’s not that expensive to get a ramp put in, Karen’ and ‘You don’t have to speak to me so slowly, I’m fluent in four languages’. Banter.”
Autistic employee Ben Espenson, 30, said: “Karen seems alright but I wish she’d stop looking at me like she wanted to drink my blood.”
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