An autistic woman known for saying the quiet part really fucking loudly has never left anyone in doubt as to what she really thinks, feels or low-key wants to pummel, sources have claimed.

Emma Bernard, 32, leaves nothing left unsaid, which, rather than leaving her with no regrets, actually leaves her with many, many regrets, while leaving others cursing her on their own deathbeds.

Bernard explained: “Last week I met a posh woman named Bunty and found myself blurting out ‘Cockney rhyming slang’.”

Bernard continued: “I’d released the words ‘Cockney rhyming slang’ like a flock of doves, and there was no coaxing them back. Bunty just looked puzzled, then three days later she worked out what I’d meant and she was furious.”

“Supposedly everyone has a filter between what they think and what they say. My filter’s a bit porous. A conversation with me is like a crunchy cup of coffee, but one that’s also spilling everywhere and causing third-degree emotional burns.”

Our reporters attempted to approach Bunty for comment but she was untraceable, having already changed her name.

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