Autism satire website The Daily Tism has achieved the impossible by announcing a virtual birthday party that autistics actually want to go to (and you’re all invited), it has been rumoured.

The Daily Tism, two, has reportedly teamed up with Coherent Comedy, one-and-a-half, to throw an evening of autistic standup comedy, headlined by comedy legend and beautiful forest nymph Grace Jarvis, 28, on Sunday 3rd May at 6pm UK time. 

Co-editor Sara Gibbs, 38, said: “The party will come at the end of our Patreon Pledge Week, where for one week only starting from today, Sunday 26th April, we’ll be putting up two bonus articles PER DAY for all paid levels. Because apparently we weren’t busy enough with the audio sitcom, the book and my full-time gig as a butler to four cats.”

Co-editor Sarah Amero, 28, agreed: “We’re hoping that by doing a big birthday party for free, people will give us money. It’s a foolproof business plan.”

Coherent Comedy host and The Daily Tism wordwench, Hare Lockwood, 39, commented: “I can’t wait! I’m going to ride the ponies!” 

According to eyewitnesses, Gibbs and Amero didn’t have the heart to tell Lockwood there won’t be any ponies – and were also low-key worried that if she found out, she wouldn’t show up. 

Gibbs added: “Please sign up to our Patreon for the double posts and come to our party. We’re so tired!”

To attend the birthday party, simply sign up to our Patreon (you can do so for free or at any paid level), where the Zoom link will be posted publicly the day before the event.