An autistic man has been left horrified after looking online for information about his special interest, only to find that the wiki’s editors are clearly nowhere near autistic enough to satisfy his need for detail, eyewitnesses have reported.

Wallace Murray, 44, has an interest in the video game Bloodborne that borders on the unhealthy, and often finds himself on the hunt for ever more elaborate and arcane information regarding the game’s mysteries. Murray’s hopes were reportedly dashed on discovering that the people who run the Bloodborne wiki appear to have interests outside FromSoftware’s 2015 masterpiece, such as friends, family, and, shockingly, other video games.

“I was appalled,” said Murray. “I had just settled down for a night of endlessly scrolling through information I already knew in the hopes of gaining some fresh insight, when I realised that the people who wrote the wiki were just the normal kind of obsessive weirdo, rather than the rarified kind of obsessive weirdo who could give me the hit I needed.”

When reached for contact, Ryan Wilkins, 39, editor of the wiki, told reporters: “Oh god, has Wallace sent you? Please leave me alone. I’ve got work in the morning and I need to put my baby to bed.”

Still reeling from this nightmarish betrayal, Murray eventually managed to calm down after finding a long-dead forum which contained a 10,000 word post about Avolina’s Doll, an item so rare that it doesn’t technically exist in any playable instance of the game.

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