An autistic woman has reportedly caused confusion after writing a customer service complaint buried in layers upon layers of apology.

Niamh Callaghan, 43, says she thought long and hard about emailing a supermarket chain to complain after she found a live frog in a bag of salad.

Callaghan said: “Those poor people wade through mountains of vitriol all day. To think I’d be adding to the pile makes me feel horrible, but my sister convinced me that it’s not normal or okay to find live animals in packaged food.”

“Her argument that I could be protecting people – and frogs – with my complaint did appeal to my sense of social responsibility, but it was only after she heavily implied that Greta Thunberg would approve of my actions that I hit ‘send’.”

Customer-service representative Noah Fields, 25, said: “It took us some time to figure out what Ms. Callaghan was actually saying. She began with an apology for taking up my time and adding a few pence to the company’s electricity bill, and then spent three paragraphs making it abundantly clear that she didn’t hold me responsible for any of it, even going as far to suggest that I’ve never done anything wrong in my life.”

“From what I can work out, she’s upset because we haven’t equipped her with the skills to raise a frog.”

Like what you’re reading? Make us your new special interest! Help us grow The Daily Tism by sharing our articles, following us on Instagram, Bluesky, Threads and Facebook, shouting us a coffee on Ko-Fi or joining our bonus-content-packed Club for Terrible Autistics by subscribing to our Patreon. We also now have merch! Check out your favourite headlines in comfy wearable form over on Teemill.

You can also watch episodes one and two of our sketch show, The Daily Tism News, in collaboration with Turtle Canyon Comedy, or listen to episode three in audio form – and tune into our podcast, Autistic Women Oversharing to find out WAY too much about our writers.