An autistic woman who has reportedly been punishing herself for a decade and a half only committed a minor social faux-pas in the first place, it has been reported.
Ellie Mulligan, 35, reportedly sentenced herself 15 years ago to life without parole, doing hard emotional labour for the crime of spontaneously choking on her own spit in front of a university crush whose name she now doesn’t remember.
Mulligan said: “I choked so hard I accidentally spat in his face a bit. And when he asked if I was OK, I said ‘yerp’. So basically, there are some things you can’t come back from and I don’t deserve to ever be happy.”
“I can’t believe I did that to Whatshisface.”
“I did try to get myself an actual sentence from a real judge,” Mulligan added. “But she just told me she only judges actual crimes and to get out of her courtroom.”
Judge Emma Bernard, 54, commented: “I’ve given lighter sentences to literal murderers.”
Like what you’re reading? Make us your new special interest! Help us grow The Daily Tism by sharing our articles, following us on Instagram, Bluesky and Facebook, shouting us a coffee on Ko-Fi or joining our bonus-content-packed Club for Terrible Autistics by subscribing to our Patreon.
You can also watch episodes one and two of our sketch show, The Daily Tism News, in collaboration with Turtle Canyon Comedy and tune into our podcast, Autistic Women Oversharing to find out WAY too much about our writers.
