An autistic woman’s quarterly rebrand has failed to alter her miserable existence apart from making her hair look slightly different, eyewitnesses have claimed.
Pippa Durham, 33, who experiences the urge to become a completely different person every three months, genuinely thought she could overhaul her life in the space of an afternoon. So far, she has only managed to get an ill-advised side fringe at the hairdresser which, if anything, has changed her life for the worse.
Durham said: “I really thought that I’d look at myself in the mirror and see a new Pippa staring back at me. A Pippa who sets boundaries, abhors microplastics, and doesn’t have the Deliveroo driver listed as her emergency contact. But things are still entirely shit across the board, plus now I’ve got all these ridiculous wispy bits that won’t stay in a ponytail.”
“At least I can stop thinking about how bad my life is and focus on how bad my hair is.”
Durham was last seen Googling ‘human hair wigs cheap’ and ‘how to become a life coach reddit’.
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