An autistic woman has warmed the hearts of onlookers by still lining up her sex toys at the age of 27, her parents have confirmed.

Beth Hapworth’s 14 vibrators live side by side in her bedside table drawer and are regularly re-ordered in pleasing formations – such as colour, size, and ability to get Hapworth off.

“Beth always liked arranging things in very specific way”, her mother, Mary Hapworth, 58, proudly told reporters. Beth herself could not be reached for comment as she refused to come home when told there were reporters present. “It’s one of her little autistic reactions,” Hapworth explained. “They tend to do this when you invite strangers round to have a look at them.”

“We think it’s lovely she has her hobbies, though we have no idea what an autistic person would be doing with all this.” Her mother Hapworth beamed, scooping out a leather blindfold. “Maybe hide and seek? But how do you explain the strap-on?”. Her father Gavin Hapworth, 60, looked completely baffled, before returning to his shed.

Despite this restrictive play style, both parents remain hopeful that their daughter will continue to make positive strides. “Beth tends to struggle with more imaginative play.” Mary Hapworth smiled, suddenly wistful. “But I’m still hoping she might have a tea party with that massive veiny cock.”

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