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    Family, News, Relationships

    Eccentric dad has “no idea” where you got your autism from 

    Sarah Amero, 4 weeks ago 2 min read  

    Your dad, the most singularly unique individual you’ve ever met, reportedly has no idea where you got your autism from. Perhaps best known for helping to bring you into the world, your father owns seven identical shirts, shouts at people for eating crisps within earshot,…

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    News, Work

    Tragic! Autistic woman meets all job requirements except sparkling charisma 

    An autistic woman who meets every one of a job’s specifications has been left dismayed to discover she also needed a PhD in ungodly amounts of charm, it has been reported. Paige Thomas, 31, from Doncaster, has three degrees and almost a decade of relevant...
    Elsa Williams, 4 weeks ago 1 min read  
    Friendships, News

    Maybe I should have talked about my special interest more, says autistic man ghosted by friend  

    An autistic man whose friend disappeared on him has been left wondering if perhaps he failed to sufficiently monologue at them about his current hyperfixation, it has been rumoured. Dexter Livingstone, 45, only managed to deliver 19 multi-hour voice-note lectures about Star Trek Voyager to...
    Andrew Hickey, 4 weeks ago 1 min read  
    News

    Gen X autistic woman has rare triple invisibility 

    Headline by Andrew Hickey An autistic woman born in 1975 has been diagnosed with the rare comborbid condition of being invisible three times over, it has been reported. Paula Mulberry, 49, used to be a fully corporeal human being, but since turning 40 has slowly...
    Sara Gibbs, 4 weeks ago 2 min read  
    Friendships, News, Relationships

    Autistic woman who followed your profile by accident now in it for life  

    An autistic woman who accidentally clicked “follow” on your social media profile will never, ever, ever be able to bring herself to unfollow you, it has been rumoured.  According to sources, Siobhan Moorton, 36, doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, despite having no connection to...
    Sara Gibbs, 1 month ago 1 min read  
    News

    Highly sensitive indigo child just glad she’s nothing like those autistics 

    A supernaturally gifted woman has expressed relief that her otherworldly powers can never be mistaken for something as mundane as autism, according to sources. Tricia Squire, 19, knows that her sensitivity to her environment and unique perspective on the world may seem like autistic traits,...
    Sarah Amero, 1 month ago 2 min read  
    Love, News, Relationships

    Autistic woman beginning to suspect spouse of 60 years has a thing for her 

    An autistic woman reportedly suspects she may have a secret admirer – the man she has been married to for six decades. Christine Smout, 84, caught her husband Anand, 81, sneaking glances at her across the kitchen table. She thought nothing of it at first,...
    Sarah Amero, 1 month ago 1 min read  
    News

    Streaming service that removed your autistic comfort show admits targeted attack 

    A streaming service that silently deleted your favourite autistic comfort series has admitted it was purely with the intention of pissing you off, it has been reported. The streaming service confessed: “We saw you restarting the same episode over and over every time things were...
    Elsa Williams, 1 month ago 2 min read  
    News

    Tragic! Autistic child will never be given chance to bully  

    An autistic child will never know the joy of being mean to someone for absolutely no reason, therapists have said. Seven-year-old Mary Walker has all the wit, bluntness and evil instincts of a top-tier bully, but experts say she is unlikely to ever fulfil her...
    Sara Gibbs, 1 month ago 1 min read  
    Friendships, News, Relationships

    I’ll call you later, friend threatens 

    Your friend has threatened to call you on the telephone at an indeterminate point in the future, reports have claimed. “Friend” Kelsey Dacey, 36, reportedly issued the threat to call you “for a bit of a natter”, in what sources are calling “a naked act...
    Sara Gibbs, 1 month ago 2 min read  
    News

    AuDHD woman enjoying Googling show more than watching it 

    An AuDHD woman is having a much better time looking up facts about the show she’s watching than she would if she was actually watching it, it has been rumoured. Kelsey Dacey, 28, reportedly watched the first five minutes of Severance, but immediately got distracted...
    Sara Gibbs, 1 month ago 1 min read  
    News, Politics

    Autistic person who doesn’t normally go for conspiracy theories approves of Starmer’s plan to dim sun 

    An autistic person who would usually be the first to debunk conspiracy theories would actually be curious to hear more about Keir Starmer’s plan to dim the sun, sources have claimed.  Neuroscientist Jay Chester, 38, is reportedly quick to point out the logical flaws inherent...
    Sara Gibbs, 1 month ago 2 min read  
    News

    Photo of solemn Victorian child revealed to be autistic girl at school disco 

    A recently uncovered image previously believed to have been taken in 1863 was actually captured at a British primary-school disco in 2003, experts have announced.   The image, initially thought to be of a sickly Victorian child, actually depicts then-seven-year-old autistic girl Freya Emerson, reportedly...
    Elsa Williams, 1 month ago 1 min read  
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