A former dinnerlady has died peacefully at the age of 83, blissfully unaware that when she had a position of power over your seven-year-old self, she left you with trauma-induced food aversions you still carry to this day.
Liz McHodge is reported to have passed away with no thoughts of regret or remorse for when as a middle-aged adult she singled you out as a small child and loomed over you, bellowing red faced to stop crying in front of all your peers, and forced you to finish a cold plate of lumpy instant mash even after you had to run to be sick, leaving you incapable of eating 90% of potato-based dishes even now.
She leaves behind a lasting legacy not only within your food aversions, but in a string of other autistic adults she would pick on for being “fussy” and “ungrateful”. Ryan Wilkins, a man three years your junior who you never knew, recalled unfondly the time school bullies put salt and pepper in his milk and McHodge forced him to drink it anyway, sending the bullies out to play. “And she’s dead now, is she?” asked Wilkins, drinking his coffee black as usual. “I suppose that makes no difference, anymore.”
McHodge’s final social media post declared that in her day, there was none of this so-called autism or special dietary requirements, kids ate what they were given and all turned out completely fine. She is survived by her three adult children, none of whom can eat scrambled eggs for reasons they refuse to discuss.
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