An autistic woman has chosen to fill the pockets of her new skirt with whimsical little oddities while continuing to lose all the items that she actually needs, sources have claimed.

Megan Aldrich, 33, was reportedly delighted to discover that her latest Vinted purchase had two decent-sized pockets. Determined to pack only the essentials, she proceeded to fill the pockets with small knitted animals and immediately headed out to her local café.

“They feel so nice to rub my fingertips over while I’m in the queue,” she explained. “Now I’m always in the company of friends, I require nothing else in life.”

On reaching the front of the queue, Aldrich realised that she had no money or bank cards with which to pay for her latte, no keys to get back into her flat, and no phone with which to call for help. Her knitted friends were very sympathetic, but could be of little practical assistance.

“The solution is obvious,” said Aldrich. “Clearly, they need pockets, so they can carry stuff when they come out with me. I just hope they don’t fill their pockets with even smaller knitted animals, and get us into an infinite loop…”

At the time of reporting, Aldrich is busily knitting tiny pockets, and is rumoured to be very much headed for an infinite loop of animals-in-pockets.

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