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    News

    Autistic lesbian decides to just brave it and briefly glance in her direction 

    An autistic lesbian has finally summoned the courage to momentarily lock eyes with another woman, it has been rumoured. Emma Bernard, 31, from St Helens, decided she was ready to “make a move” on Natasha Weaving, 39, who she had been admiring from a distance...
    Elsa Williams, 2 weeks ago 1 min read  
    News, Science

    Study finds only thing worse than being ignored is being perceived  

    The only thing worse than nobody noticing you is somebody acknowledging your stupid, embarrassing existence, a study has revealed. The study, conducted by researchers who had reportedly “run out of ideas”, showed that while going through life feeling invisible is painful, it’s nowhere near as...
    Sara Gibbs, 2 weeks ago 1 min read  
    News

    Autistic Pride Day welcome break from Autistic Shame Year 

    Autistic Pride Day is to provide a much-needed temporary respite from the remainder of a year spent marinating in shame, it has been rumoured.  The event, which takes place today, the 18th of June, encourages autistics to feel positive about themselves – until the clock...
    Sara Gibbs, 2 weeks ago 2 min read  
    News

    Autistic woman lands dream job as everybody’s unpaid educator 

    An autistic woman has finally landed her dream role as an unpaid educator for everyone around her, it has been reported. Navya Randhawa, 28, has always dreamed of wasting her precious time and energy explaining the modern world to everyone she meets. From family members...
    Sarah Amero, 2 weeks ago 2 min read  
    News, Work

    Autistic woman just socialising through lifelong social hangover 

    An autistic woman enduring a daily social hangover has resolved to keep on socialising until the headaches subside – despite having felt this way for nearly half her life, sources have indicated. Sarah Harrow, 33, from Halton, repeatedly downs additional shots of chat after a...
    Elsa Williams, 2 weeks ago 2 min read  
    Health, News, Work

    Autistic writer upset they can’t submit second draft of conversation 

    An autistic writer has reportedly been left “frustrated” that they are unable to submit the second draft of the very stupid thing they just said in casual conversation. Jay Chester, 48, who regularly puts their foot in their mouth during routine social interactions, often redrafts...
    Sara Gibbs, 2 weeks ago 2 min read  
    News

    Autistic woman joins pyramid scheme out of desperation for structure 

    An autistic woman has knowingly joined a pyramid scheme in the hopes of gaining some much-needed structure in her life, it has been reported. Niamh Callaghan, 31, was offered the chance to escape her chaotic life when a former classmate tried to charm her into...
    Sarah Amero, 2 weeks ago 2 min read  
    News

    Advertorial: Autistic completionist’s life ruined after discovering a History of Rock Music in 500 Songs  

    An autistic man who needs to find out everything there is to know about his special interest or his brain will itch until he’s dead has had his life “ruined” by discovering the single most verbose music history podcast in a frankly overcrowded market, it...
    Sara Gibbs, 3 weeks ago 2 min read  
    News

    Wow! This autistic woman’s superpower is not understanding her feelings 

    An autistic woman has been gifted with the superhuman ability to not understand how she’s feeling about a single thing at any given moment, eyewitnesses have claimed. Miya Wilkes, 29, was blessed with an innate proclivity for having zero sense of what that the Perpetual...
    Elsa Williams, 3 weeks ago 1 min read  
    News

    I don’t know if I’m autistic, says woman whose special interest is autism  

    A woman doesn’t know if she’s autistic despite being completely hyperfixated on autism, it has been reported.  Paige Thomas, 29, is unsure of whether or not she would meet the criteria for an autism diagnosis, yet simply relates to a bunch of stuff autistic woman say,...
    Sara Gibbs, 3 weeks ago 1 min read  
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