Artifical unintelligence? Autistic woman pretends to be less smart
An autistic woman has revealed the key to building social relationships is pretending she doesn’t know stuff, according to reports. Siobhan Moorton, 37, from Gawsworth, has honed the art of feigning total ignorance about specialist subjects she’s spent years learning about – in an attempt...
“I’m a bit OCD” claims woman who has to a bit avoid cracks in pavement or family will a bit die
A woman who has insisted she’s “a bit OCD” is – in fact – not. Karen Hoyland, 46, made the comment to explain why she likes things neat and tidy – but after being challenged by an actual OCD sufferer, has doubled down on her...
Non-autistic woman enjoys special interest to despairingly normal levels
An autistic woman has found a non-autistic colleague’s lack of interest in something they claimed to enjoy immensely troubling, sources have confirmed. When Emma Bernard, 31, learned her co-worker Miya Wilkes, 34, liked British sitcom The Royle Family, she couldn’t wait to re-enact every...
“Zombie” just autistic person with sleep disorder
A terrifying pasty-skinned wreck spotted shuffling towards the bus stop has turned out to be an autistic person with Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder, authorities have claimed. Kit McGodden, 37, from Harpurhey, was misidentified as being one of the living dead after they were seen staggering...
Woman deemed “complex” by mental health services actually basic bitch
An autistic woman who was described as “complex” by her team of mental health professionals has been revealed to be pretty basic, reports can confirm. Paige Emerson, 26, from Castlefield, might have “a lot going on psychologically” according to a room of therapists – yet...
I lived it! Autistic woman misdiagnosed as vampire
A 39-year-old woman has finally received an autism diagnosis after years of being misdiagnosed as a bloodsucking creature of the night, it has been announced. Siobhan Moorton’s autistic traits were reportedly missed due to the sheer volume that overlapped with vampirism. Moorton explained: “My light...
Autistic woman who “loves everything fall” breaks leg tumbling from window
A autistic woman who saw several Instagram posts captioned “get fall ready” took this as a literal instruction and has hurled herself from an upstairs window, reports have indicated. Sarah Harrow, 33, from Huddersfield, hates pumpkin-spice lattes, but loves the feeling of descending from a...
Phew! Woman with body dysmorphia actually looking at reflection in spoon
An autistic woman who has always hated her body has discovered that while this is mostly due to patriarchal beauty standards, it is also due to her having always used a spoon to view her reflection. Emma Bernard, 35, had suffered from body dysmorphia her...
Most dramatic fortnight of women’s life coincides with therapist’s annual leave
An autistic woman has been left “shocked and upset” that her Extremely Difficult Time has conflicted with her therapist’s yearly holiday to Greece, it has been rumoured. Despite having answered “fine” when she was asked about her how her week had been in her most...
Psychologists to screen autistic patients for comorbid imposter syndrome
Anyone receiving an autism diagnosis will automatically be referred to be assessed for imposter syndrome, it has been confirmed. The move comes following a campaign from autistic activist, Paige Thomas, 34, whose own suspected imposter syndrome is still undiagnosed. She said: “I just felt it...
