Tragic! New Year’s Eve dress that makes you look the hottest hurts the most
An autistic woman has been left “distraught” after discovering that a New Year’s outfit that makes her look as “fit as fuck” absolutely kills, according to sources. Paige Thomas, 26, from Fazakerley, had optimistically ordered the sequinned wrap mini-dress in the Boxing Day sales –...
Cartoon character? Autistic woman just wears the one outfit
Despite owning an entire wardrobe full of clothes, an autistic woman continues to opt for the same outfit daily – for reasons that continue to remain a mystery. Krista Shure, 31, from Cheshire, picks her favourite pair of skinny jeans and white cotton T-shirt every...
Uncanny! Autistic woman dons neurotypical Halloween costume for third decade running
An autistic woman has announced plans to dress up as a neurotypical woman for the 11,162th time in their lifetime this Halloween, it has been reported. Natasha Weaving, 30, from Elton, spends the whole year dressing “somebody much less weird” than she actually is –...
Bondage! Woman admits main use of sunflower lanyard
An autistic woman has discovered a surprising new use for her sunflower lanyard. “It’s meant to tell others I’ve got a hidden disability,” Sarah Harrow, 31, from Manchester, explained. “But it’s also telling the right people that I’m an absolute animal.” “It really comes in...
On fleek! Woman who’s a decade behind pop culture bang on autism trend
A woman who is consistently between nine and 13 years behind the zeitgeist has somehow managed to be way ahead of the autism trend, it has been reported. Ellie Mulligan, 30 – who has just discovered “this band called Haim” – has been autistic since...
Love rat! Autistic man cheats on long-term T-shirt
An autistic man’s T-shirt is devastated to discover that after five years of exclusivity, its owner has purchased a second one, sources have revealed. The black cotton T-shirt had recently celebrated five happy years with autistic man, Dexter Livingstone, 29, but was left “shocked and...
Heartbreak! Autistic woman adores itchy top she can’t wear without screaming
After snapping up the black mesh top of her dreams, an autistic woman is devastated to learn that she can’t actually wear it. Paige Thomas, 26, from Bury, explained: “I look so fuckable in it. Like, Catherine-Zeta-Jones-in-Chicago levels. But I can’t keep it on more...
