An autistic woman has baffled her friends and relatives by switching career every few days, with each job more strange and confusing than the last, sources have claimed.
Pippa Durham, 39, who holds a first-class degree in Anglo Saxon, Norse and Celtic, had intended to become an academic, yet abandoned this plan on discovering that she would be required to do more than just fondling old books.
Durham commented: “I started training as an aromatherapist, but it was frankly altogether too smelly. If only there had been some hint that this might be the case.”
“I also worked, briefly, at a snake sanctuary, a funeral directors’, and a sausage factory,” Durham continued. “This was followed by a stint of standing outside the Jobcentre, face pressed up against the glass, desperately mouthing the words ‘transferable skills.’”
“I need to earn money to live,” Durham explained, “but I’m fundamentally unsuited to earning money, and also, arguably, to living.”
Subsequently, Durham became self-employed, in which capacity she has been a spoken-word poet, a living statue, and a clown at children’s birthday parties. Most recently, she has started a small business making taxidermy jewellery for drag queens.
“It’s great, but I can’t see myself doing this forever.” Durham said. “Can I be a vampire? Is that a job?”
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