An autistic woman is preparing to swing a totally irrelevant conversation towards her favourite cryptid, it has been reported.

Sabeen Bhatt, 23, cannot stand small talk, instead preferring her talk to be roughly the size of the winged man-beast some reefer-smoking teens allegedly saw one night in 1970s West Virginia. While the conversation she is currently part of has absolutely nothing to do with myths, legends or even moths, Bhatt is determined to take it there as swiftly as possible.

Bhatt said: “All my friends have started talking about moving house and settling down, and I have nothing to contribute. I’ll start to feel really left out if we’re only ever going to talk about sensible things. It’s been at least 10 years since I’ve had a sensible experience.”

“I think we should turn our collective attention to what really matters, like those stories about Mothman trying to steal a baby. We’ve taken for granted that Mothman must be evil and want to eat babies, which is bang out of order. Maybe he just wanted to hold it.”

Friend Brenda Hernandez, 22, said: “You’re lucky you live with your parents, Sabeen. I’ve been looking for a good house share for months.”

Bhatt offered: “You know what else is famously elusive?”

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